day to day rambling...

Slavery...

2009-08-21T20:27:00.002-04:00

I used to have a myspace page (still do, just don't use it), now I have a Facebook page and I have become enslaved by it. I don't seem to be able to walk past my laptop without checking my page. I am not sure what I think I could have missed, but the urge is so strong that I must check it.

All that being said, I am thankful for it. I have found many old friends and have made some new ones. In some ways, it is my connection with the outside world (lame as that may seem). It seems as I have gotten older, I am more satisfied to be at home. Bob and I have always been very different. He used to want to be alone and I wanted to be with other people, but it seems now that we have changed roles. I am not sure why, maybe it is because the idea of going places with two kids just seems like too much bother. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and am thankful for them everyday, but sometimes I just want to be alone. Sometimes I joke about not even being able to take a crap by myself. Maybe I am not joking.

I have also found that I have less and less friends as I get older. When I was younger, I was always one of the guys and most of my friends were guys, besides chicks were always too competitive. Now I wish that I had more girlfriends, so that I could have somebody to talk about life with. Sure I have made many "mom" friends, but I have no friends that I just talk to because I need or want to. Friends in many ways are more precious than family (other than Bob or the kids).

So be good to your friends, love them, take care of them and talk to them, they might really need you...

Wow...

2009-08-20T08:42:00.002-04:00

It has been forever since I posted anything on here!! I am sure that I no longer have any readers, but if you do happen to stop by, hello.

I should start blogging again, but for now I have to get through next week. Sophia is starting kindergarten. I was sort of down about it last night, but I know she will love it and make new friends. Nick starts preschool the following week and that is just so hard to believe! It seems like only yesterday we were waiting for him to be born.

Time moves on and kids grow up too fast...

What have I done now...

2008-02-08T15:30:00.000-05:00

Once again I am sorry for my absence. As I said in my last post, I hurt my knee, so I have been going to physcial therapy a few times a week. Last weekend I woke up with a pinched nerve in my neck or back. I have sharp pains that occur in my right arm due to this and because I am right handed, this makes things extra challenging. So now I am faced with additional therapy for my arm. All in all it has been pretty sucky.

I am taking all sorts of meds, muscle relaxers, pain killers, anti-inflamitory drugs and also the medicine I take for depression, so I feel like a walking drug store.

This too shall pass, I just wanted to explain my absence.

I had bad news from two friends over the last week or two. First, my one friend's old neighbor and friend had an eleven year old child who commited suicide. I was just so sad for the family. I can not imagine finding my child dead from their own doing. It is hard for me to understand what drove such a young person to this sort of end. Another friend who is expecting a baby just found out this week that the baby (a boy) has Trisomy 18, which is a rare and almost certainly a fatal birth defect. The baby has no stomach and has some other problems, too. According to the Genetics specialist she and her husband spoke to said that 98% of the baby's with this defect do not make it to full term and that most parents faced with this situation end up terminating the pregnancy. It is just so sad. I saw my friend's oldest daughter today and she told me about the baby. I could tell she was upset, but I told her that she needed to give her mom and dad lots of love, because they will need it.

After writing about those two things I realize that even though I have some physical problems right now I am very lucky. My children are alive and healthy. It is funny how things can help to put things in perspective.

I hope that you are all well!

Always have been clumsy...

2008-01-10T20:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Bob's birthday and in a series of embarrassing unfortunate acrobatic events that included a dog fence, a dog water dish and Bob's birthday cake I managed to injure myself. After a doctor's visit and some x-rays I am now at home resting with my leg in the air. It seems that I have, in the best case scenario, sprained my left knee, if I am not vastly improved by Monday, I will have to go for an MRI to see if I have done something worse.

Bob ended up working from home today while taking care of the kids. I can not walk upright very well and limp horribly and steps are almost unbearable. If I am not better tomorrow, I will need Bob's help again, because I can't even lift the kids. I hope I am doing better soon, but only time will tell.

What a way to celebrate Bob's birthday and bring in a New Year. I hope that you all are starting 2008 off on the right foot!!!

What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger, so I just have to laugh.

Confession...

2007-12-26T17:36:00.000-05:00

"Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been over fourteen years since my last confession." These are the words I said to the priest when I went to confession last week. I had only been one other time. My friend who goes said how great he always feels after he goes, I decided to give it a try. I gave things some thought and wrote down what I wanted to remember. Of my sins the one that the priest advised that I should work on was the one where I said that I have problems honoring my mother and father.

He gave me some advice. He said to try to work things out by clearing the slate, by drawing a line on the sand and not bringing the past into the situation. So I did just that. My mom had called to get together before Christmas, so I told her to come on the 23rd and that I would make her lunch.

She got here pretty much close to the time that I told her to. She normally arrives way early. She gave us gifts and we gave her some. She ate the food I had prepared like she had not eaten in three weeks. There was little conversation during lunch, because there was no room to get any words in, in between bites. She did not interact with the kids. The only time she even held the baby was once when she knocked him down. He (in my opinion) is a cutey so I have a hard time understanding how she could avoid holding him. Sophia tried to talk to her and she just ignored her. She sat on a chair in our living room for about another hour watching football and not speaking. She abruptly got up to leave and within a few minutes was gone without so much as a "Merry Christmas."

As far as my father goes, I just sent him a Christmas card with a photo of the kids. I did not write a letter or anything, I just wanted to open the door. It has been at least five years since I have seen my Dad. My last dealings with him were super taxing and I had pretty much closed the door forever.

Now that Sophia is getting older and starting to ask questions, I know I have to have some answers for her or at least I feel like I should have answers for her. She recently asked me if my mother was dead, because she did not know who she was. When my mom came for the Christmas visit, Sophia asked what her name was. Sophia is a super sweet kid that would love anybody, but my mom just seems so cold and soulless, like she did not even know who the kids were.

So have I fulfilled my pennance? Have I done what I should? Do I continue to hold out for answers or is this as good as it will get? Should I persue anything else with my father or just completely leave things in his court?

Merry Christmas...

2007-12-24T09:54:00.000-05:00

I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas. I just wanted to share our Christmas card photo. It took about 20 shots, but I think it was worth it.

We all have these horrible colds right now. It makes it so hard to get things done. I finally got all of the gifts wrapped last night. I have not baked any cookies (except for a few that I baked for Bob's grandfather for Christmas). There is only so much I can do. I was just thankful to get all of my shopping done.

Sophia is in the Christmas pageant at church today. She is going to be a star. She has a gold dress, gold shoes and a gold star headband. She is so excited about it. I just hope she behaves. I am in charge of organizing half of the little stars. There is about a dozen stars, about 4o angels, 20 shepherds and sheep and just a few animals for the stable. An angel is by far the most popular thing to be.

After church we go to Bob's aunt's house. Tonight I am going to have one of Santa's elves deliver a gift to the kids (PJ's and a Christmas book). I want to start doing that every year. That way the kids can put on their PJ's for the ride home and be ready for bed when we get in.

Tomorrow morning Bob's parents will come over to wait for the kids to get up and then I make breakfast for everybody. Then we go over to Bob's parents for the rest of the day. Bob's parents got each of the kids something for the train garden so that they can put it up and then look forward to seeing that piece of the garden each year.

I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas filled with love and happiness!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A little holiday spirit...

2007-12-09T17:27:00.001-05:00

Last Wednesday (December 5th) we got in the neighborhood of 5 to 6 inches of snow. We had been planning for Bob to take off that day so that we could venture out for our Christmas tree. It ended up being a picture perfect day. Here in the mid-Atlantic region we generally don't get a ton of snow, so we were thrilled to be able to take some photos of this beautiful day. Thank God for the double stroller, because it worked great in the snow and when Sophia got tired it made it possible for us to transport the tree and the kids.

It was one of those, "It's a Wonderful Life" moments.

Poor baby...

2007-11-29T15:27:00.000-05:00

Nicholas turned one yesterday. The good news is that he really started walking yesterday and now he walks at least 50% of the time not holding on. So I guess that was his birthday present to himself. The bad news is that he and I were both sick with some kind of stomach virus. Thankfully, it only lasted one day. I really felt like I was dying yesterday.

My son's (and daughter's) Godmother felt so bad that she brought us Chinese carry-out, a cake and party hats, napkins and plates (Shrek) so that we could celebrate. We had planned on going out to dinner, but I was just way too sick.

We are having his birthday party on Saturday. It will be a small affair with his Great-Grandfather, his Grandparents, Godparents, and a few of our neighbors. The party will have a fire engine theme, with lots of balloons. I think he will love the bright colors. I am looking forward to it, but I hope that my stomach will be 100% by then right now it is at about 75%.

So anyway that is what we have been up to. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Sophia and her cousin Sarah had a blast together. My father-in-law has made a train garden for the kids. It is so fun to watch Sophia playing engineer. She does pretty good at controlling the five train lines.

I will make sure to share pictures of Nicholas' big day!

This is long overdue...

2007-11-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

So here are the kids (and our jack-o-lanterns) on Halloween night. This is the first year that Sophia picked her own costume and well as for "Little Elvis" I could not resist.

A week from today is Nicholas' first birthday so we are in full party planning mode.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I hope that you, your friends and family all have a wonderful holiday.

Take care!

Mmmm...

2007-10-24T21:51:00.000-04:00

I love to cook. I like to look at several recipes of the same dish and then come up with my own version. I wanted to share a recent recipe that seemed to be a hit with those who tried it. It is fairly easy, except for peeling the Butternut Squash. Don't be afraid to try it, because the combination of apples and squash sound weird as they really do go together very nice. This dish would be a nice starter for Thanksgiving dinner.

Apple Butternut Squash Soup

1 medium onion chopped
3 stalks celery chopped
2 carrots chopped
3 to 4 apples cored, peeled and chopped
1 large butternut squash peeled and chopped
4 to 6 cups of vegetable or chicken broth (I used canned)
Dash nutmeg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
Dash ground cloves (optional)
1 cup light cream

Put all ingredients (except cream) into large stock pot. Boil until vegetables are soft. Use a hand blender to liquify soup. Once soup is to desired consistency add cream slowly while stiring soup. Soup is ready to serve.

If you don't have a hand blender, you can use a regular blender, it will just be a bit messier.

If you try it, I would love to hear your thoughts, since this was something I made up on my own (well sort of).

Enjoy!!

Busy, busy, busy...

2007-10-18T09:53:00.000-04:00

Since Sophia now goes to school five days a week, I have been finding it hard to get anything done. In the evenings and on the weekends, I like to spend time with Bob and the kids, so that decreases what I get done at those times. I have been trying really hard the past two days to get some thing caught up around the house. Today is what I call "Produce Day." We belong to two CSA's (Community Supported Agriculture) and today is the day that I pick up our organic produce from two local farms. The kids enjoy going to the farms each week and so do I. There is nothing better than direct from the farm food.

We were supposed to go camping last weekend, but the nightime temperatures were only supposed to be 38 and 42 and we did not feel that this was warm enough for Nicholas. So we spent the time at home on Friday and on Saturday we went out to the Pumpkin Patch with Sophia's best friends family. The kids all had a blast. We went through a corn maze, went on a hayride, shot pumpkins out of a sling shot and picked pumpkins. After we left the Patch we all went to a local park for a picnic. Overall it was a marvelous day.

I am not really sure what Sophia is doing in this picture, but I thought is was hilarious. Sophia's best friend's name is Sahas and he is like her calm alter ego. They are alike in so many ways, except for the fact that Sophia is a spazz and he is not.

Her is my little pumpkin with some other pumpkins. No matter how hard we tried, we could not get him to look up at he camera. I guess a little pumpkin is hard to compete with.

Since I really don't like to have my photo taken and I rarely smile when I do, I thought I would share this. As they say, the camera adds about 20 lbs, but in my case it is about 50!!! I just love the smile on Nicholas' face. I realize that he is getting older and it is only a matter of time, before these kind of cuddles will not be wanted anymore, so I have to enjoy them while I can.

The rest of the month will continue to be quite busy. This weekend our Godchild, Gabriel, is being Christened. It is a very happy occasion for our family as well as Gabe's. He is much more than a Godchild to me. I wish all the best for him.

By the way, I forgot to mention, we finally got a new dog. Her name is Chloe and she was rescued from the Humane Society. She is a 1 1/2 year old lab mix. We took pictures of her, but they were not that great, so when I finally get a good one, I will share it.

I have just finished my large Cafe Mocha and that means I am out of time. I hope that you all are wonderful and enjoying the fall!

Make some memories...

2007-09-17T10:19:00.000-04:00

Cooking is Medicine: Cookie Memories

I read Claire's blog this morning and wanted to pass along this post and recipe. My daughter loves to bake with her Grammy. She is so proud when she can share what she has made. If you have kids in your life you might want to make some cookies with them. It is a nice way to spend some time and make some memories.

Anarchy in the Pre-K...

2007-09-13T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well not really. You would think that with Sophia being so hyper that every day at preschool would be a free for all, but this has really not been the case. Sophia has always been very outgoing. The strange thing is though, at her new preschool, she is barely making any new friends. The moms in the school seem to be very cliquish, so I thought maybe the kids were, too. I was feeling really sad for Sophia. It is so hard for her not to have any friends. Thankfully, when I volunteered yesterday, I noticed that she does have one little girl who seems to be her friend. I had to breathe a sigh of relief when I saw the girl sit down and play on the computer with Sophia.

It is hard to watch your kid struggle, espicially when those sort of things always came so easy to her. I guess it is an important lesson for her to learn that she will not always be the center of the universe.

My kids are growing up so quick. Next Friday Sophia will be four years old and Nicholas is already nine months old. It was like one day Sophia was a baby and now she is this little girl. Nicholas finally got his first tooth, is crawling and is now starting to talk. His first official word (if you can call it that) is "uh-oh." We were in line at the coffee shop this morning and he kept saying it over and over again. He has a very infectious smile so he always draws attention to himself, so there was even more attention paid to him, because he was talking so much.

I had been feeling sort of crappy there for awhile and that is why I was not posting. I did not know what to say, so I said nothing at all. I started taking an anti-depressant and so far it seems to be helping. I don't feel so down. Bob says that I am definitely less mopey than I was before. Now if I could just find the energy to get my house in order, things would vastly improved.

Anyway, after this long absense there is probably nobody stopping by anymore, but if you do, leave a comment so that I know that you have visited. Even in my absense, I have been reading other people's stuff and sometimes commenting. I hope that you are all well.

High of 90...

2007-06-19T12:17:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday the local kids got out of school for the summer. With the temperature already at 90 and the humidity high, I can truly say that summer has arrived in Maryland.

I think about when I was a kid and how that last few days of school were a total waste. We did nothing, learned nothing new and only daydreamed about the summer weeks that lay ahead. When school finally got out you spent most of your days outside. I can remember staying outside from the time I woke up until I went to bed. I remember the hot, humid nights spent laying in my own sweat, because we had no air conditioning. I remember one of the greatest joys of summer was to run through a lawn sprinkler. It was a simpler time.

Now as I drive down the street in the middle of summer. I barely see any kids outside. I wonder what they could be doing, but then I already know. They are plopped down in front of their televisions, watching TV or playing video games. It is no wonder that obesity is on the rise in America.

I do have a tendency to stay inside during the hottest part of the day and then go out in the evening. This is nice for a few reasons. First, it is not so stinking hot that I feel like I am going to melt. Second, Sophia's best playmate is home from day care. Third, some other adults are home and it gives me somebody to talk to. Sophia loves this time of the day. She wishes that her playmate could come and stay with us during the day so that they could be together all of the time.

We sometimes take walks in the evening. I would say half of the time it is Bob, Sophia, Sophia's buddy, Nicholas and me. We walk to the Snowball stand that is about a half a mile away and then come home. I have found joy recently in sugar-free Bahama Mama snowballs. The other night it had literally started to get dark by the time we left our house. This was fine though, because it was very cool and the moon was out. Sophia and her friend were holding hands in the double stroller and talking. It was so fun to watch them together. By the way, Sophia's best friend is a boy. Bob jokes that he is going to have to keep his eye on him.

I hope that our kids will look back on this someday and think that it was a fun time in their life. I don't have memories like this with my parents, so I want to make sure that my kids do.

I am sorry for the delay in posting. I know that I should post more often, but what can I say I am a slacker. I try to get around to read everybody else's blogs, but then have little time to post to my own. I actually started this post several days ago, but did not get a chance to come back to it until today. Hopefully, I can get my act together and write more frequently.

Messy...

2007-06-12T07:15:00.000-04:00

I have to clean my house. It is a huge mess. I hardly let anybody in, because it is such a mess. This is a source of shame for me, but I am just not good at keeping things neat and organized. I don't know why I can't keep things neat. If it weren't for Bob, half the time the laundry would not get done. I need one of those clean sweep sort of shows to come to my house. They would be so horrified!!!

We are dog sitting for our neighbors next week, so I want to get things in order for our canine visitor. We are going to love having him here for a while. We miss having a dog around. Jake (the dog we are watching) is a black lab and like all labs I have ever met, he just wants to love and be loved. He is good with kids (he has a few of his own), so I know that my kids will be fine with him. He has never really been around cats, so it will be interesting to see how he likes ours. Neal (the only pet we have right now) loves dogs, so he will make it easy for Jake.

I have to get everything done by Saturday, because we have a party to go to for a friend's two boys. She has one birthday party for both of them. Sophia will have a ball, she loves these two kids. Then on Sunday, which is Father's Day, we are going to church early and then we are going to go camping overnight at Catoctin Mountain Park. I just wanted to get away for a day with the kids. Camping is fun and relatively inexpensive. Catoctin Park is home to Camp David, the presidential retreat (it is NOT open to the public) so you can imagine how pretty it is there. There are many nice trails to hike in the park and also in Cunningham Falls State Park, which is the state park that is adjacent to Catoctin. In the state park there is a lake for swimming and boating, there are playgrounds and also a hike to waterfall.

Bob and I have been going to these parks for as long as we have been together (which is 17 years now) and we have always had fun. We tent camp and there is a wonderful camping area that mostly caters to tent campers. It is gorgeous. It is very quiet and has a stream running along one side and every camp sight is wooded. Also, the spots are not right on top of one another. I am really looking forward to the diversion. I know that Bob and the kids will have fun, too.

I thought it would be nice to spend Father's Day as a family. I will make Bob's favorite foods to make it a little more special for him. We usually spend the day with Bob's parents, but this year they are taking Bob's Grandfather to a Dinner Theatre. We will miss spending the time with them, but will still enjoy ourselves.

I love doing these sort of things with the kids. I like cuddling next to Sophia in the tent. At least for little while anyway, because she is a wiggler. She loves going on adventures and camping is the perfect place for a kid to go out and discover that there is a big world beyond the boundaries of their homes. I did not really camp as a kid. I think I only did it once or twice with girl scouts and I was miserable. I think it was because I did not have the cool sleeping bags and things. I used my Dad's army sleeping bag and kids laughed at me. Kids can be so awful. Now I have all the cool camping stuff, so nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.

Have a good day!

Youth...

2007-06-07T09:20:00.000-04:00

I go to church every week and for the most part I consider myself a Catholic. In light of the allegations of sexual abuse in the Church over the last decade or so, there are certain things that you have to do in order to volunteer with kids in our Archdiocese. So last night I had to go to something that is called STAND Training. This is a class that helps you recognize signs of abuse and what to do if you suspect that a child is being abused.

While I sat there watching a video, I started to think about my own life and the abuse that I endured when I was younger. I was in the 6th grade and he was my art teacher and it went on for more than a year. He also attended the same church that I did. I never told anybody until I had moved away from where I grew up and had graduated from high school. I was a really wild teenager, maybe it was because I had this horrible secret to deal with and it was a way to hide the truth. In many ways I feel shame over what happened and to this day I still think I must have done something to deserve it.

I was in counseling for a little while. It helped some. I deal with depression from time to time and I think that this is one of the reasons. It makes me wonder what direction my life would have taken had I not had to deal with this during puberty. It definitely makes you think about sex and sexual conduct in a very warped manner. I tend to be angry when I think about how my young life was taken away from me. I also wish that I could have seen my abuser in jail, but by the time I was ready to deal with things he was dead. I am sure that I was not the only girl he abused. I have a hard time dealing with my hatred towards this man and I also feel bad for thinking that I hope that he rots in hell. I can honestly say I would very much have a problem forgiving this person.

I know now more than ever that I need to protect my own kids and others from this horrible plague on our society. According to what they told us last night, one in four people has suffered some kind of sexual abuse. That is so hard to believe. It also makes me realize that I am not alone. To think of a child suffering like I did makes me feel absolutely horrible.

Pets...

2007-06-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

Pets can break your heart. I know this from personal experience. It really has been rough over the last few weeks. I still think about Vinny's soft face and I miss him. I miss his sad eyes and the way he used to lay at my feet. Sometimes nothing can compare to the love of a dog. A dog will love you unconditionally, if you just let him. It makes me sad to think about him not being around any more.

I feel sort of depressed right now. About ten days ago, our cat, Tristan, got out of the house. He is a rather portly fourteen year old yellow tabby. I found Tristan when he was just about ten weeks old at my in-laws house. I heard him crying and after about 20 minutes of calling and luring him with a bowl of milk he was mine. As soon as I caught him and held him to my chest, he started to knead his paws, I knew that I had to keep him. Over the years we have had our ups and downs. There were a few years where when I would call his name he would literally turn his head the other direction. He always loved Bob more than me, but I was okay with that. That being said, I miss him terribly. We have tried to catch him, alerted our neighbors and posted signs around the neighborhood. There were a few nights when he did come home, but he would not let us catch him. As of today, he has not been back for about four to five days. I have been checking the local Humane Society and plan to call the local paper tomorrow to post a listing on the missing pet ads.

Growing up we never had inside dogs and since they were not inside they were never really like family dogs. The first dog that I really felt a family closeness to was our Katie who passed away last year. She was probably the best dog that we will ever have, but maybe I am biased. I did have a pet cat that we got when I was in the 5th grade. She was a long-hair calico named Samantha. She lived to be about 19. My mom had her remains cremated so that I could bury her with my other pets. I cried like a baby when my mom told me she had died, but at least I had closure. With Tristan, we may never know if something happens to him. I just want to cry.

That leaves us with just one cat. He is another yellow tabby named Neal. It is hard to believe that he is all we have right now. Since December of 2003, we have lost one dog to cancer, one dog to old age, another dog to raisins, a cat to a blocked urinary tract and now Tristan to the outside world. I know that there is still hope for him, but as each day without seeing him passes, I start to give up more hope that he will return. Maybe he wants to spend the rest of his life the way his life started, outside and away from people. With cats one never knows what they are thinking. I just pray that he is not scared or hungry.

I wonder at times why I put myself through this nonsense with pets, but then I think about all the times when I have been sad and my dog was right there by my side. When my grandmother died in 2000, I can remember being comforted by a big fuzzy face. When I have been sick, it was my dogs and cats who were always by my side to support me. When I was pregnant with Sophia, Siggy used to listen to my belly like he knew that there was a baby in there and he became so gentle. Bob has always been here too, but something in the way a pet just wants to love you, helps you to forget about your troubles just for a while.

With all of this said, I am just going to say a little prayer to St. Anthony to help me find my lost cat.

O Holy St. Anthony, gentlest of Saints, your love for God and Charity for His creatures made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers. Miracles waited on your word, which you were ever ready to speak for those in trouble or anxiety. Encouraged by this thought, I implore of you to obtain for me the return of my cat, Tristan. The answer to my prayer may require a miracle. Even so, you are the saint of Miracles.

O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the Sweet Infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your arms, and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours.

Amen.

Barbie...

2007-05-30T10:28:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I never really played with Barbies. In fact, I never owned one. I am not sure why this happened, but my parents had limited funds and maybe that was the reason why. I probably would have played with them, but never had the opportunity. My best friends growing up were twins. They had everything Barbie. They had the Dream House, a pool to go with the house, a camper and tons of Barbie fashions. If it was a Barbie accessory, they probably had it. I was jealous of them for this reason. It was not rational, buy hey I was a kid and kids get jealous.

Saturday, Sophia's Grammy bought her a green Barbie Volkswagen Beetle. First you must know that Sophia is totally in love with cars right now, especially Volkswagens, so it is perfect for her. She had a Barbie that somebody had given her when she was born, so Bob found the Barbie and gave it to her. This Barbie had on a princess dress that I felt would not do for driving a VW Bug, so I went to Target and bought her a set of Barbies clothes.

Last night we finally opened the package of clothing, Sophia was so excited and to be honest so was I. We started dressing Barbie and the stinking clothes don't fit very well and when you read the fine print on the back of the package it states, "Fashions fit most Barbie dolls." Not only did they not fit well, they started to rip. I was more disappointed in this than Sophia. I must say that Barbie has some hips and it is hard to put pants on her.

This morning she saw the Barbie and the VW sitting there and started to play with them both. Barbie, of course, could not wear what she was wearing and had to change her clothes before going on a trip. I helped Sophia change the clothes and then pack the little Barbie suitcase with another outfit for her journey. Sophia loads Barbie into the car and she was off. Her car trip lasted all of about a minute when it was time to change her clothes again. Of course, Sophia, needs my help with this task, because the clothes are so hard to deal with. Anyway, she looked so happy while trying to dress Barbie and it made me realize that she really is growing up so fast. I had to smile as I watched her on the floor sitting on her knees trying like hell to get Barbie into her car.

I thought about my own childhood again. Did I miss much not having Barbies? I will never know. I might have missed some frustration, but maybe I missed a sort of rite of passage for girls. At least now I can sort of live through my own little girl and be excited for her.

Just catching up...

2007-05-21T17:36:00.000-04:00

I wanted the previous post about Vinny to be up for at least a week before I put up a new post. A week has come and gone and it does not change how much I miss my dog. We have been working very hard to get information about pet dangers out there. We have put up a website with some pet safety links, talked to our local newspaper and also talked to the Baltimore Sun. A story with just a bit about Vinny ran in our local newspaper ran today, but we are still hoping that the Baltimore Sun will print something. We have had a few visits to our website and hope that more people will visit. Please go over and have a look. Sign our guestbook and forward the link to your friends. The more people who are aware of pet dangers the better.

Mother's Day was very nice. Bob who rarely cooks made a wonderful dinner for his mother and me. It was a great day to just be with my kids. Sophia made me a card in which she wrote the message "I love you" all by herself. Bob told her the letter and she wrote it without his help. It was hard to read, but I could definitely tell what it said. I was so proud of her. Sophia picked out a beautiful hanging Lobelia for me and put a dragonfly decoration in the pot. I love dragonflies.

Yesterday I spent the morning planting my tomatoes and then we went over to Bob's parent's house and helped to open the swimming pool. I thought it would be a good idea to wear my swimsuit to work in the garden and open the pool. I am a nice shade of bright red today. I am such a dummy, I should have worn sunscreen. I normally do, but didn't yesterday.

I had to run some errands today. Sophia seemed to be a bit under the weather and I kept asking her if she was okay. She said she was fine. We pulled up to our house and Sophia was getting out when she started this coughing thing and the next thing I knew she was throwing up on the ground. I knew it. She was, of course, very sad. I comforted her and helped her change her clothes and told her to lay on the couch and just relax. She has drank some water, but wants nothing to eat. I know she will be better later. I told Bob to pick her up a snowball with out the syrup on top thinking that she might like the shaved ice. I am glad that she decided to get sick outside and not in the car or house. She made it easy for me. Poor thing, it is not like her to just lay around.

I still owe you guys Fairie Festival photos. My stinking CD drive will not open and I have them on disk. I promise to get them out soon.

Thanks for hanging in there while I have been dealing with Vinny's death. It is nice to have such kind readers.

I hope the sun is shining in your piece of world.

Vinny...

2007-05-10T20:45:00.000-04:00

It is with great sadness that I announce that Vinny passed away today. He fought a good fight, but in the end, his body just could not take any more.

Please take a moment to read this information and make sure to pass it along to any body who has pets.

I am hoping that we can use Vinny's death to teach others about the dangers for pets from ordinary items.

Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts for Vinny and our family.

Vinny Update...

2007-05-09T09:20:00.000-04:00

Vinny had a rough day yesterday. I started crying when we went to visit him last night. He had loose bowels and was throwing up yesterday, which is not a good sign, so they gave him medicine to calm his stomach. They have also put a medication in his IV to increase the blood flow to his kidneys.

Late last night we called the ASPCA Animal Poison Control (we had to call there before he went to the vet to get a case number, because he had been poisoned) and they said that the treatment he is receiving is right on and as long as he continues to urinate, there is hope. So we felt a bit better after hearing this.

Bob went down to walk him this morning, while he didn't look great, he seemed a bit better. He had stopped throwing up and they actually had a bit of turkey for him to eat in his cage. He did urinate. They were doing his blood work again today. We will get the results late this afternoon and we will go visit him again tonight.

Raisins...

2007-05-08T07:14:00.000-04:00

It seems as if life is one big shitstorm sometimes. I know that I have so much to be thankful for, but is is very hard to remain positive while being tested time and time again. As you know I had been sick, so had the kids, my in-laws and my husband. Sophia and Bob are still coughing, but at least Pink Eye has left the house.

Friday Bob took off work so that we could take the kids to a Fairie Festival. We all had a great time. Saturday, my mother-in-law and I took Sophia to her first tea. I promise to post pictures of both events in due time. The kids look so adorable in the photos.

Sunday morning we woke up to the dog throwing up all over the place. Apparently, he had gotten into a bag of gourmet raisins that had been left unattended. I told my neighbor that the dog had been sick and what he was throwing up when she mentioned to me that she had read that raisins could be toxic for dogs. I immediately got on-line and found some information and it was not good. Apparently, even a small serving of raisins can be very bad for a dog. So we called the local emergency vets and were told to call the ASPCA Animal Poison Control number. We were given a case number and told to see a vet right away.

Dogs that ingest raisins can experience kidney failure. As of last night his levels are still increasing which means that his kidneys could be going further into failure. The vet was very concerned. She said that the increased levels could be a difference in the amount of fluid that he was taking in or a difference in the machine that took the earlier numbers. Whatever the case may be, we can only wait and hope that things will turn around. We did go to visit him last night and he was being his usual obstinate self and not cooperating with the staff, so we had to walk him. Bob was going to try to walk him on his way to work this morning.

The sad thing is that Vinny is a young dog. He is only two. The vet said that if his levels continued to rise today that we would need to make some decisions and I know what this means and I hate it. My dog is my family and as I write this the tears are welling up in my eyes. I have prayed and hoped, but I am worried that it might not be enough.

Please keep Vinny in your thoughts and prayers. He could use all of the help that he can get!

Also, please pass this info about raisins on to anybody you know who has a dog. Please let them learn from our mistake.

Pink eye, snot, headaches, oh my...

2007-04-25T12:56:00.000-04:00

There are some childhood things I managed to miss in my life, including Pink Eye, which for some reason I managed to get this week. It is so gross!!! Thankfully, it is getting better, but the Upper Respiratory Infection that I have is still making me feel like crap. I have this headache that borderlines on migraine. If I bend over, cough, sneeze or hear loud noises my head feels like it will explode. Also every time I bend over snot comes out of my nose (I really had no way to not make that sound disgusting). I just have to deal with the headache, because I am nursing I can only take Tylenol and that does not seem to be helping right now. The doctor did say that if it does not get better in a day or so to call back.

Both of the kids also have colds. Nicholas is out of luck. Since he is under six months of age there is nothing they can do for a cold. Sophia has a prescription waiting for her at the pharmacy. She has to have special cold medicine, because the over the counter stuff makes her hyper, which as you all know, she does not need anything additional to make her hyper.

So now I am getting ready to head out to the store and pharmacy. I would rather that my eyes be used for pin cushions instead, but it has to be done. I could wait and have Bob run out, but I want to get Sophia's medicine into her right away.

We are going to a Fairie Festival next week and I am working on getting Sophia's costume together. I will make sure to post pictures. Sophia always looks so cute when she goes. The costumes that people wear are so elaborate. I will try to get a few shots of other costumes. People are very serious about the festival. This is the third year that Sophia has gone. She looks forward to it for weeks ahead of time, which is a huge amount of time for a three year old.

Unfortunately, my life is pretty mundane right now, so I have nothing else to really offer.

I forgot to mention that I am on a quest to watch the American Film Institutes top 100 movies of all time. I have watched about 37 of the movies so far. Bob got me two books about movies for my birthday and I am considering getting NetFlix to help me on my way. I love movies, but I don't always observe them, so in addition to watching the movies, I want to understand them as well.

So here is a question for you guys. What is your favorite movie of all time and why? That can be a very hard question for me, because the movie changes from time to time. Right now it is probably "The Big Libeowski". I have watched this movie so many times that I can quote it. Another of my favorites has got to be "The Godfather." I will think about this question for myself and answer it as well. It may take several days!!!

I am going to take advantage of a few quiet moments while Nicholas is sleeping and Sophia is involved with "Jack's Big Music Show" to close my eyes for a few moments.

I hope you all are well.

Where has the time gone...

2007-04-09T22:19:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the long absence. I have not really felt like blogging, besides, I had little to say. Last Thursday was my 37th birthday and along with that came the normal "I feel so sorry for myself" annual pity party. It was short-lived this year. I guess I am finally coming to grips over being closer to 40 than to 30. That being said, I really don't feel all that old, which is fabulous.

One good reason for my absence is that we purchased a new double jogging stroller and Bob and I have been taking the kids for walks on warm evenings. I guess this is much better for me and my kids (Bob, too) than sitting on my fat butt playing on the internet. I also spent one evening taking a cake decorating class. It was nice to get away for an evening, even if it was only for a few hours.

Nicholas continues to grow. He was up to 15 lbs and 26 inches at his doctor's appointment on March 28. It is hard to believe that he is already four months old. He is just one big smile most days. He is just so happy and pleasant.

Sophia is finally on her way to potty training. I never thought that the day would come. I bribe her at times. I took her to the Maryland Zoo a few weeks ago and she was totally freaked out by the automatic flush toilets. They may have scarred her for life. She screamed and did everything in her power not to go on those toilets, so I had to give in and forego the training for the day.

We have also been working on getting Sophia into a new preschool. Her current preschool will be closing after this school year. We have issues with her birthdate and starting kindergarten. She misses the cutoff by 20 days and we were originally going to fight to put her into kindergarten early. We have now decided not to do that and send her to pre-k for two years at two different schools. We would love to put her in Montessori for a year before starting Catholic school, but it will totally depend on how much money we can save over the next year or so. It is so hard to know what to do. Those of you who have read me for awhile know how active Sophia is. She is also very smart and can figure out how to manipulate any situation. That is why we originally wanted her in school early. We thought that if we could keep her challanged, we could also keep her out of trouble. Now we figure we will just take care of things as they come up. I just hope we are making the right decision.

I have been told by a few different people that kindergarten is now like what first grade was when I was a kid. They expect the kids to be able to write and have early reading skills by the time they reach kindergarten. My only problem with this is, what happens to those kids whose parents cannot afford preschool? Are they behind before they have even begun? School and learning are so important to Bob and I that we are pretty much willing to do what we need to to give Sophia a good start in school.

Tonight Sophia was down in her playroom writing letters on her Magna Doodle. She is still writing with both the left and right hands. I really don't know how to help her choose which hand is best. It would be nice if she could use both, but I think they make you choose one or the other once you reach kindergarten. I got a preschool handwriting program and hope to work on writing with Sophia over the summer, so maybe she will choose once we start concentrating on writing.

The pictures at the top are from Easter Day. I love the top picture. Nicholas and Sophia really love each other. I am so lucky not to have an overly jealous big sister. Nicholas will smile when she talks to him and I encourage her to talk to him when he is sad. They are really cute together these days.

We had beautiful Easter, except that the temperature never got out of the mid thirties. It has been so cold over the last several days. I felt so bad for all of the kids at the local Easter egg hunts.

Like I said, there really has not been much going on , but it has been a month since I posted, so I thought I should at least update.

I hope you all are well!

Clarity...

2007-03-08T21:27:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been driving and look out the window and all of the sudden have a rare moment of clarity? Not a moment where all that ails is fixed, but a moment that is just peaceful.

It snowed here yesterday and it was one of those snows that coats the roads, trees and well just about everything. I had dropped Sophia off to preschool this morning and was leaving to go to Target to pick up a few things. I was driving down the road and for some reason I just sort of looked around me. It was beautiful. The sun was shinning and there was still snow in the trees. I thought to myself that it seemed peaceful, so I turned off the radio and made the rest of my journey in just the quietness of my car with the only sound being the hum of my engine. I really wanted to stop right in the middle of the road, roll down the windows and turn off the engine so that I could be a part of the peace that I was witnessing. It made me smile.

Often I find myself overlooking these moments, maybe I am too busy, maybe I am just ignorant, I don't know. It made me realize that clarity can come in many forms and that I need to enjoy it when it happens. I need to stop worrying about every little thing that comes along and be a good example to my kids. I need to help them understand the beauty in every day things and make them take the time to appreciate them.

I have been complaining about the snow and ice, but today I realized that there was something good in it after all. I guess it is sort of like when you have that one rain during the spring, you know the one, it is a warm day and you are upset that it is raining, but when the rain stops you realize that the grass has suddenly turned green. It is if Spring has sprung right before your eyes. These are both lessons for me to understand that I need to take the good with the bad.

Here's hoping that you find our own personal moment of clarity.

Family...

2007-03-05T09:25:00.000-05:00

Sophia is, as I have said, very good to her little brother. I hope that she will stay that way, but I know that like everything else, people change. I put this picture up of the kids, so that you guys could see her beautiful eyes. She gets compliments on them quite a bit. Nicholas, I think, will have my eye color, which is hazel. Sophia's really are hazel too, but instead of changing between brown and green, hers change between blue and green. My husband's eyes are the same. Eyes are one thing that I always notice about people. I have been known, under the influence, to tell people how much I like their eyes. I love to see somebody with dark hair and blue eyes. The dark hair makes their eyes stand out. Our eyes are precious and we should be thankful for them every day.

I have been thinking about my grandmother's quite a bit recently. My father's mother's birthday would have been February 24 and she would have been 79. My mother's mother's birthday would have been March 2 and she would have been 90. I have not posted here in awhile, because I have been working on a few projects related to my grandmothers.

First, just a bit of info about myself. I was adopted by my stepfather when I was 4 or 5 years old and never grew up knowing my real father's mother. When I was 14 we reconnected and by the time my grandmother passed away March 17, 2000, we were very close. I felt that we had lost a good bit of time together, but managed to make up for it. I know that my grandmother was very sad about not being able to watch me grow up. In 1994 I gave my grandmother this little book called "Grandma, Tell Me Your Memories...". Basically there was a page for each day of the year and each day had a question about my grandmother's life. At the end of 1994 she gave it back to me filled with her answers. The one project I am working on is to take her handwritten information and type it, so that I can share with others. I am only up to March 9. Sometimes, it is hard to write, because I think about her being gone. I wanted to have it done by now, but with the kids, it is a near impossible task at times.

The second thing I am working on has to do with both Grandmothers and my Grandfathers and all my family who came before me. I am working on tracing my genealogy. This is not an easy task either. I work on this sometimes after both kids have gone to sleep at night. It is interesting to see what people did (in my case, most were farmers), to see how big their families were and to see what they were worth.

Both of these projects may take me a while to finish (the genealogy will probably never be done), but it helps me to use my brain. Sometimes, I feel like my brain has turned to mush, that is one bad thing about being a stay at home mom. Even though I get around other people, we have a tendency to talk about our kids and nothing too heavy or thoughtful, so these are both good tasks to give my brain a little workout.

I have not been as lazy as it seems then. I look at everybody's blog just about every day. Well that it about it for now. I will leave you with a little picture of my ever growing boy. Happiness to you all.

Sugar the enemy...

2007-02-24T20:13:00.000-05:00

So we are supposed to get some more bad weather tomorrow. I hope the weather reports are wrong. I don't mind snow, but the ice is really horrible. We still have ice that is about 4-5 inches deep by our cars. This really sucks when I have to take the kids to the car. I am always afraid that I am going to fall, so I leave the house much less. This is bad for a number of reasons. First, I get cabin fever really bad. Second, so does Sophia and she will drive me nuts.

Speaking of Sophia, I called the pediatrician this week regarding her bouts with hyperactivity. She is too young to really have ADHD or anything (or at least be diagnosed with it), but I am so worried that she will eventually be labeled as so. I will refuse to give her medication for this, so I want to get some coping tasks early. I told the doctor that we feel that Sophia has always had high energy issues, but it seems more pronounced now that we have an additional child. She gets so keyed up that she will literally just walk around in circles looking for something to get into. When agitated, she is not able to focus on what we are telling her, so this makes it hard for us to stop the cycle. We have also noticed more and more that she is unable to concentrate on things such as; coloring, looking at books (on her own) and potty training. Some days I just want to cry.

I would think that all of this behavior was the result of having a new sibling, but as I said this has been going on for some time and in some ways we have seen some improvements in her behavior since Nicholas arrived. I try very hard to not make her feel like she is second when I am caring for Nicholas. Bob is very good about helping with both kids, so this helps. Sophia is very bright. She was speaking in complete sentences by a year and a half, so we also wonder if maybe she is not being mentally challenged enough. I get so frustrated sometimes and feel helpless thinking that I am a terrible mom, because I can't figure out what makes her tick. It is very hard to be patient, sometimes. I also get concerned that as Nicholas gets older, it will be harder for me to handle them both.

So basically the pediatrician's office said that hyperactivity would need to be dealt with by the metal health professionals that my insurance company uses. The office had the doctor call me back just to go over things with him. First he said that we need to try to cut back on the sugars in her diet and then he gave us some mental exercises to do to try to help her focus better. He asked that we try this for awhile and if we see no results to call him back.

We started cutting back on the sugars already. I really think that she is like a sugar junkie. She kept on sneaking into the kitchen taking things like Froot Loops and those fruit gummy snacks. Thankfully, we caught her each time she attempted. We are also going to try to use a more "Whole Food" approach to the food in the house. I don't think it is going to be fun, but if it will help Sophia then I am all for it. We are not really sure how sugar became so important, but for now we are viewing it like the enemy. We also started the mental exercises that he suggested and it seems to work to a certain degree. So now we just have to make sure that we stick with the things we are putting in place.

So that is what we are up to for right now. I hope that you are all well and ice free.

Still recovering...

2007-02-13T19:38:00.000-05:00

I am still recovering from the Christening. I am happy to report that all went fairly well. My mother, as expected, did not show up. This was truly a blessing in disguise, because I did not have to deal with explaining her weirdisms. I was glad to have many friends and family from Bob's side there. Nicholas looked and acted like an angel. Sophia looked angelic, but acted otherwise. I attribute this to being three years old.

The reception after the Christening went very well. The food was great and I think people had fun catching up with each other. I put together a box of craft items for the kids and they had a ball coloring and making Valentines. I also put in paper bags for them to decorate and had each child pay me a visit before they left, so that I could give them a couple of handfuls of candy to take home. I was happy to see that every kid left with a smile on their face.

So right now it is snowing and sleeting and freezing rain is expected to follow later. We should have over 1/2 inch of ice by morning. I expect that Bob will be working from home tomorrow. This will be a nice Valentines gift for us all, but we could do without the ice.

I will put some pictures of the Christening here for you to see. I hope you enjoy them.

This is Sophia before the Christening, sorry it is so light.

Nicholas getting wet. This is me holding him, his Godmother (and Sophia's) to my left while Bob and Sophia look on.

Nicholas during the ceremony with Mommy and Daddy.

Nicholas' cake, too bad he couldn't have any, it was yummy!

Sophia with some new magic marker marks on her chin (washable) enjoying a piece of cake.

I will have to see if we have any other photos that I can post, but in the meantime, have a wonderful Valentines day!

Stinkin' Doodle Doll...

2007-02-09T01:20:00.000-05:00

If you have access to a little girl you might be familiar with a toy called a Doodle Doll. Sophia has two. They are a doll that you can write on with special markers that when you are finished doodling on them, they get thrown in the washer to be cleaned. Seems like a good idea, huh???

As my few readers know, Nicholas is being Christened this Saturday. It is a fairly big to do with in excess of 80 people coming. Sophia has a beautiful new dress that we purchased at Macy's. Keep in mind that the dress is sleeveless.

Tonight around midnight Sophia woke up calling for me. I was busy with a task for the Christening, so Bob went up to help her. Next thing I know, he brings her down to me so that I can see what she has done to herself. Apparently, she found both a purple and hot pink Sharpie and went to town on herself as if she were a Doodle Doll. She in fact told Bob that it would come off, like a Doodle Doll. I almost cried.

I am here to tell you that Sharpies don't say they are permanent for nothing. I scrubbed and it was still there. I can hide the belly, back and legs, but the arms are another story. I am just hoping that I can get her to take a long bath tomorrow and it will come off.

I know that I will look back on this and laugh. Even now I can see the humor in the situation. I particularly loved how she was able to get marker on her back. She also paid special attention to her belly button area (she now sports a very dark purple belly button). She was sad, because I got so mad and then I felt bad. After her bath I made sure to hug her and tell her that I loved her, because I do, despite the Sharpie.

Oh well, just another day with a crazy preschooler. If you got little kids around, make sure that they can't get to the permanent markers. Learn from my mistakes, please!

Take care and stay warm!

Yuck!

2007-02-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

What is up this winter??? I was sick last week with a cold and I am not happy to report that I caught Bob's damn stomach virus yesterday. I have not thrown up (other than when it was liquor induced) since I was 13 or 14 and I made up for lost time last night. There is nothing more vile than to puke! Today I am having some other stomach issues. YUCK! I have only eaten four crackers since yesterday afternoon and the only thing that seems not to bother my stomach is a coke! I also have this lingering headache. I tried Tylenol and when that did not work, I ended up taking a Motrin 800 and that mostly got rid of it, but it is still hanging on just a bit.

So please have a nice big rich meal on me. Make sure that it is good and tell me about it. Hopefully, I will feel better by the Superbowl. We are having all kinds of Mexican food, which are some of my favorite foods. Unfortunately, they don't go well with a stomach virus.

I hope that you are all doing better than me right now!

to sleep, to dream...

2007-01-31T10:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry that this photo is so grainy. Bob took it early one morning before leaving for work. I have actually taken up sleeping on the couch. This is good for a couple of reasons. First, it lets Bob get sleep, because the baby won't wake him and second it gets me some extra sleep, because I don't have to hear Bob hitting the snooze button ten times in the morning. Nicholas usually sleeps in a little bed beside the couch, but on this particular morning, he must have needed a cuddle. I'll cuddle as long as he goes back to sleep. Right now Nicholas is eating every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, which means that I am up a good deal. I am hoping that it is just a growth spurt and things will calm down a bit. I have never had a picture of myself on here before. I hate the way I look in photos.

Speaking of growth spurt, Nicholas had his two month well baby visit on Monday. He is still on the rapid growth track. Here are his stats...

Weight 12 lbs 7 oz (up from 11 lbs 9 oz, just under two weeks ago) - 75 percentile
Height 23 3/4 in (up from 19 1/2 at birth) - 89 percentile

He had to get four shots which have made him just a bit cranky. Last evening he was awake for several hours before finally crashing around 11:00. He is looking at me and crying right now. I know he is dry, fed and has been loved this morning, so it may still be the shots. I will have to consult the paperwork from the doctor's office.

I will have to get some recent photos of Sophia and post. I have neglected to do so in a while.

Bob came home sick yesterday and is off today. He has some sort of stomach virus. He never takes a sick day, so he must be feeling pretty bad.

We have less than two weeks until the Christening. Things are coming together nicely. I can't wait to get it over with. Sophia and I got our hair cut over the weekend, so that we won't look like a couple of "Cousin Its." I have to get Bob's suit to the cleaners. I am also taking his shirt to get laundered, because the shirt just looks nicer when they do it (plus I hate to iron). Nicholas is wearing Bob's Christening outfit. We tried it on him and he looked so cute. I have ordered the subs and cake. My hardest days will be next Thursday and Friday when I have to do all of my food preparation. I will make sure to take lots of pictures!

I just wanted to check in. I hope that you all are well. I have to go, Nicholas really needs me!

It's here, it's not here, it's here again...

2007-01-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

I am referring to winter. It has been such a mild winter that my daffodils are actually popping out of the ground. I wished for some snow and now that I have, I realize that with the snow also comes colder weather. That would be fine, if I did not get sick because of the weather change. So this morning I sit here thankful that we finally got a bit of snow (less than an inch), but miserable, because my throat hurts.

Bob has a routine of saying goodbye to Sophia right before he leaves for work. Last night I asked him to kiss her goodbye earlier than normal, because when he normally does it, she wakes up. I am happy to report that my plan worked, because she did not get up until 9:15. She usually gets up around 7:30, so this gave me some extra sleep.

Nicholas is sitting in his little seat and was happy until he got the hiccups a few minutes ago, so now I have to cut this short. He is a good little fellow, but the hiccups piss him off.

Anybody watch football??? What do you think of the Bears, Colts lineup? I was actually rooting for the saints, but the bears are okay. I was hoping that the Colts would win. This will really piss of a good deal of football fans in Maryland, because a large number of people in Maryland are still not over the Colts leaving Baltimore in the 80's. I love Peyton Manning, so I was glad that he finally gets a chance to win a Super Bowl.

So there you have it. I hope you are all well.

Chunky Monkey...

2007-01-19T11:03:00.000-05:00

I had written a post and stupid Blogger lost it. I swear that I never had so much trouble before the switch to the new format. Anyway, I digress...

I had to take Nicholas to the doctor yesterday. He weighed 11 lbs 9 oz. He is now 7 weeks old and when he was 2 weeks old he weighed 8 lbs 4 oz. The doctor said, "Boy, he is growing." I knew he was getting bigger, but I did not know it was that much.

Poor Nicholas has this condition called Anal Stenosis and because of straining, he has a small tear in his hiney. This is a condition that physically makes it hard for him to poop. His little opening is too small, so he is on a regimen of twice daily anal dilatation, corn syrup, Vaseline and suppositories when needed. Poor guy cries out when he has to go. I feel really bad for him. The doctor feels that things will get better within a few months. I have read where kids with this condition may have to have surgery.

I got to take a nice hot bath last night after Sophia went to bed. I actually got to shave my legs, I was beginning to feel like a Sasquatch. My time was cut short though, because Nicholas was needing me. He definitely favors me over anybody else. I keep telling Bob that is has nothing to do with him, but has to do with me being a milk dispenser.

It is so windy here today. It is trash day and our damn trash can is blown over. Hopefully, diapers won't blow down the street. Trash guys won't pick anything up that is on the ground, so hopefully, it won't be too bad, because I can't go out to pick up. It times like this when I wish I could have trained the dog to do those sort of things for me.

My planning for the Christening has moved forward and I am done with most of the things I can do for right now. I have started to get RVSP calls already. I look forward to this special day, but not all of the work.

I hope that all is well and warm where ever you are. Take care!!

An hour of peace...

2007-01-16T04:52:00.000-05:00

Nicholas woke me up at about 3:30 am to eat, but here it is 4:52 and I am still awake. I started a load of laundry and am catching up on reading some blogs that I have neglected. I can't do this most of the time, so I am enjoying this hour to myself. Anyway, I am back to bed. I am sure I will miss this extra hour of sleep later today.

I will figure it out...

2007-01-15T09:19:00.000-05:00

So here is Nicholas. He will be seven weeks on Tuesday. It is hard to believe. He can really hold his head up now, but I am still a bit nervous about him doing it on his own.

We are planning his Christening. We are inviting about 100 people, but of course a bunch of people probably will not be able to make it. I love planning a party, but hate spending the money. We are going to have Subway do monster subs for us and we are going to make our own salads (probably pasta, potato, fruit, and caesar salads and cole slaw). It will be a bunch of work ahead of time, but easier the day of because I don't have to worry about hot food. For Sophia's Christening we had about 70 people to the church and about 60 for the reception after and we made the food ourselves and it was a bunch of work, so this time even though we have the potential to have more people, the workload will be less.

On a very good note, Sophia is such a good big sister. Nicholas knows her voice and looks for her when he hears her. I think he looks for her more than Bob or me. Last night we were coming back from my in-laws and Nicholas was screaming, Sophia was talking to him in this sweet little calm voice trying to make him happy. It did not work, but I loved her for trying. She is still pretty hyper, but I think that she has improved somewhat since Nicholas has arrived. Her teachers have even commented on this. Maybe it gives her something else to focus on.

She got a progress report from preschool and did very well. The only problems that she had were on fine motor skills like; holding a pencil, cutting, etc.. We feel that this is due to the fact that she is left handed. I think that watching other people write and cut and then trying to do it herself, confuses her. I would love to have another lefty sit down with her a few times. I think it would help.

I am still not used to having two kids yet. I hope that I get things under control soon. I know it will happen and I need to be patient, but it is hard to be patient when there are days that you can't even take a shower (which is yucky, by the way). I have to pay homage to those mothers who have had more kids than me, my hat is off to you. Please send some tips my way. Honestly, part of the problem is the dog. I can leave Sophia alone with him, but I can not leave Nicholas alone with Sophia or the dog. Most days that I do get a shower, Nicholas is in the bathroom with me in his bouncy seat.

So that is about it right now. I continue to figure things out. I am sure that every parent goes through this, but it can be discouraging. I am thankful that Bob is an involved Dad, because I would go insane if he was not. I look forward to when he gets home from work, so that he can take one of the kids. I see a stronger bond growing between Sophia and Bob because of this and I think it is a wonderful thing. All kids need to love and be loved by their Daddies.

I hope that you are all well.

A post, at last...

2006-12-27T17:08:00.000-05:00

I know that I should have written sooner and in fact, I did, but Blogger lost the post. I got so frustrated that I did not rewrite the post at that time.

Things have been going pretty good. Nicholas has given me the gift of sleep deprivation for Christmas, that along with the fact that I did not wrap a single gift until December 23, I have only been getting about three hours a sleep for the last three to four days. The baby is growing well. His little legs, hands and face are starting to fill out. I sit for hours a day and watch him. He is beautiful, but that could be me just being a mom.

Sophia had a great Christmas. She was running high for several days. She got lots of stuff, including a fish tank, tricycle, dress-up clothes, DVD’s, games, play food, a cash register, and some clothes. Now that Christmas is over, we can no longer use the threat of “Santa is watching” on her. This really sucks, because it worked.

Bob and I did not really give each other gifts this year (we got each one very inexpensive gift), this helped us to save some money. Being a one income family makes the holidays very difficult at times. I have some friends that spend a ton of money, but I refuse to do that. I refuse to use a credit card, just so I can say that I got a bunch of stuff for Christmas.

One of the best gifts that I received for Christmas was the news that a good friend of mine is expecting. I was so surprised and in a way I feel like my family is being extended by this. I look forward to being supportive to my friend and am just so happy for her and her husband.

He had his first bottle of expressed milk today. He drank it like a champ. I was glad it was easy for Bob. This will make it nice for me to get away once in a while. I was so excited that the pumping worked, I always had problems with that when Sophia was a baby.

My friend is coming in from South Carolina with her children this week. I look forward to seeing them. Her oldest is my Godchild and I have not seen him in many years. He is practically grown now, but to me he will probably always seem like a little boy (I am sure he would not want to know this).

I think we will just be staying in for New Years Eve, it would just be too hard with a new baby. We have a few friends who might be stopping by for the evening. This will work great for us, because we can put the kids in bed and still hang out.

We are now starting to plan Nicholas’ Christening. We had about 70 people at Sophia’s, but I think we will have a few more at Nicholas’. I have to find a venue to have the reception afterwards. I hate the idea of spending so much money, but I don’t want to have so many people at Bob’s parent’s house. I will do the food myself, so this will save some money. I will keep you posted on the planning.

I hope that you are all well. Please forgive me for my absence. I am still trying to get used to the new baby and all that goes along with it. Please bear with me!

And so it begins...

2006-12-07T18:38:00.000-05:00

things have been wonderful here. Well sort of, in a very sleep deprived way. Nicholas is waking up every two to three hours at night to eat. That coupled with the exhaustion from surgery and having staples in my belly, I am running on empty most days. These are the sort of things that you forget about from one baby to the next. People always say that you forget about the pain of childbirth and all that follows, I guess they are right about that. Thankfully, Bob is still home with me through the end of next week.

I had hoped to get all of my Christmas cards written out during my stay in the hospital, but only got about 1/3 of them done. I still have to take the kids' picture to put in the cards, but cannot do this until we get our Christmas tree up. I am hoping that we will go out and get our tree tomorrow. The only bad part about this is that it is only supposed to be in the 30's tomorrow. We will have to judge as to whether or not we want to take the baby out.

Sophia as expected is going through some growing pains. She wants me a bit more now that she sees me taking care of Nicholas. Overall, she has been wonderful, but there is some points where she is bad just to be bad. Case in point, I had to go to my doctor's today to have staples removed and she wanted to walk back to the exam room with me, when I told her that she could not she had a major blow-out right in the middle of the doctor's waiting room. I only smiled and walked away. I know that I have many more of these days ahead. To be fair to her though, she has had a cold over the last week or so. We took her to see the doctor yesterday and she apparently has a virus that will just take time to get over.

I am breastfeeding and this is a source of questions for Sophia. She was thinking that the baby would be eating off of a spoon when I explained the whole biologicial happenings (on a three year level, of course) behind nursing, Sophia said, "You are a cow." Well I had to laugh at that. We had always told her that cows make milk, so I must be a cow.

We had to take Nicholas to the hospital to be weighed by the lactician consultant. He has been spitting up quite a bit and I felt that he was not gaining weight. Sure enough, he had not gained anything since we left the hospital and had lost a bit under an ounce. We took him to the hosptial on Tuesday and he went for his one week well-baby appointment with his pediatrician on Wednesday and from Tuesday to Wednesday he had gained two ounces, so hopefully, he has turned the bend. We are taking him to the hospital and to the doctor's office next Wednesday for follow-ups.

As far as the Diabetes goes, it is gone with Nicholas' birth. Thank God for that. I now just have to watch it. My doctor suggests having lab work done on a yearly basis. I actually hope to take better care of myself and work out. I have taken better care of myself in the past, but after Sophia was born, I found it to be something hard to do, but now, I feel like I have no choice. Nicholas was also watched when he was first born and he was also fine.

The one person who really seemed to be confused over all of the happenings at home is my dog. He missed me so much and now is confused a bit by the baby. He is very gentle with him and comes running when he hears him. He does not understand why he cannot sleep in our room right now. Once Nicholas moves into his bedroom (probably in three to four months), he can come back in at night. It is just that Vinny is so tall he can put his head right into the craddle and that makes me very nervous. I don't think Vinny is a threat, but I really need to make sure.

I want to thank all of you for your comments and good wishes from my last post. I feel sorry that I have left everybody hanging on for so long. Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things real soon. For now pray for my patience.

I hope you are all well.

It's a BOY...

2006-11-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

Nicholas Eldon
November 28, 2006
7:58 am
7 lbs 11 oz
19 1/2 in

We found out that the hospital does have a wireless network, so I decided not to make you guys wait any longer. Bob, Nicholas and I will be in here until Friday or Saturday. We are doing great. Sophia seems to really like her new role as Big Sister. I will give you guys the details after we get home.

I hope all is well!!

For those of you keeping track...

2006-11-27T19:15:00.000-05:00

...the new baby arrives tomorrow.

Look for an update in a few days!

Hope you are all well!!!

A little Christmas cheer...

2006-11-26T21:55:00.000-05:00

I was blog tagged by Claire over at Cooking is medicine. This was a fun survey to do and made me think about the upcoming Christmas holiday. By the way, check the bottom to see if you have been tagged by me. I would love to see your responses on your blog.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Our presents are always wrapped.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? We used to have all white lights on our Christmas Tree, but after Sophia arrived we switched to color for her benefit. It looks pretty nice, though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No. My Grandparents used to hang it between the living room and dining room when I was a kid.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the first weekend of December, but this year, it may have to wait until the second week, since this coming weekend will be the first with our new baby.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? In my family we usually had a Thanksgiving type dinner. I always make brunch for Christmas morning now. I loved Egg Nog French Toast.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? I loved going to my Mother’s parent’s house. I grew up in PA and they lived in MD. It was always fun to see my cousins that lived in MD. One year I swear we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer something like 20 times.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I can not remember. I am sure it was because I saw something that my parents had bought that I later got under the tree. I would think I was probably like 8 or 9.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We always open one gift on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Our Christmas Tree has a very “Old World European” feel to it. I think at least 70% of our tree is glass ornaments. Each year I try to pick up something new that is very unusual or of a color that I don’t currently have on the tree. I love the way the lights look on the glass. We also have Victorian tin tinsel on the tree. My husband hates to put tinsel on the tree.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love to look at it, hate to drive in it. This is mostly because people don’t know how to drive in the snow.

12. Can you ice skate? No, but I’ll bet you would have fun watching me, if I tried. I have never been very graceful.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? This is a hard one. Each year Bob manages to get me something that is really surprising. I love things that are sentimental, like a charm for a bracelet or a little girl necklace pendant that Bob bought me when Sophia was born.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family and going to mass. Before Sophia arrived, I loved going to midnight mass, the music and feeling made everything seem so magical. Now that we have Sophia and soon to have another, we go when we can, it is just to hard to take little ones to a late mass.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Christmas cookies, especially these deep-fried Polish cookies (Chrusciki) that we make every year. They are covered in powdered sugar and go great with a cup of tea.

16. What tops your tree? Needle point angel.

17. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving, especially to kids. We buy a bunch of stuff for Toys for Tots every year.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I love “Oh, Holy Night” and “Carol of the Bells.”

19. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?? Yum.

20. What do you serve for Christmas dinner? We usually hang out at home, so we keep things simple. We usually have shrimp salad, rolls, potato salad, pasta salad, chips and cookies. We do this so that everything can be done ahead of time and when somebody wants to eat they can just grab something. It makes it easier to sit back and enjoy time with your family.

Okay, so here are the people that I tag...

Ray of Pulses, Verses and Other Flotsam
Rev. Brandy of Bemused Musings from Baltimore
Christy of Wishy Washy Wonderland
Ryan of Smile Like You Mean It
Kat of Kat's Random Thoughts
Mimi of Mind of Mimi

Now get to work!

5 days to go...

2006-11-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

So right now I really feel as though I have been eating all day. This is not a good thing for a Diabetic, but damn it, there was some great food today. My mother in law made the turkey, saurkraut, mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts, bread and pumpkin pie and I made dressing, sweet potatoes with a pecan crust, green bean casserole, broccoli, a pear gingersnap crisp and a toasted coconut chocolate chunk pecan pie. I would have been fine if I would have left the pecan pie alone, but I just could not help myself. It was so yummy. Thanks to my overindulgence the baby probably gained a pound today.

On the baby front, things are going well. Our non-stress test this week went well. I saw my OB doctor yesterday and we went over all the things that I need to know for the delivery next Tuesday. I am not really scared for me at all. I figure if I could survive being in labor for two days with Sophia, followed by a c-section, I can get through anything. That being said, there is always a bit of aprehension when you go to have a major surgery, anything can go wrong. It is funny what you think about in the few moments before you are administered any kind of anethesia. I don't think I will really be worried until Tuesday morning. I have never been good with any kind of needles, so getting an IV is always a challenge. Hopefully, things will just go smoothly, with giving myself insulin injections four times a day, I should be used to that sort of thing by now.

I do worry a bit for the baby. There are some complications that can arrise from both Gestational Diabetes and a c-section. About 25% of babies born by c-section can have some kind of breathing issues. Sophia had this problem and had to spend about 24 hours in the special care nursery. Once all of the fluid cleared from her lungs she was able to come back to the room with us. As far as the Diabetes goes, the baby could have jaundice, breathing issues or hypoglycemia (very low blood sugar). These things can be a bit scary, but I am prepared for them just in case. I am just hoping that we have no issues.

The house is still not quite ready for the new baby, but we have made progress. Poor Bob is working around the clock. He drives about 50-60 minutes each way to work, works eight hours, only to come home and do work at home and help with Sophia. It has not been easy for him. He is one of those people that needs some time to himself to regroup, but he has not had this in weeks. I sort of feel bad about this, but I do know that it is only temporary.

Sophia has been very bratty lately. I really think that this is because she knows she is about to get a sibling. I think she realizes that I can not keep up with her right now and fully takes advantage of that. Some days I am just so tired, I really just would love to crawl back into bed and sleep all day, but gone are the days of sleeping in. When I was pregnant with Sophia, my last day of work was September 5 and Sophia was not born until September 21, so this gave me about two weeks to relax and rest. I would love to have that now.

My friend (Sophia's Godmother) took me to brunch last weekend, because she knew that it would be awhile until I have a chance to get out on my own. We went to Gertrude's at the Baltimore Museum of Art. The food was wonderful. It would be a great place to take a date. After brunch we walked around the museum. It was nice not having to worry about chasing Sophia. It was just nice being away from home for an afternoon and great to have some adult conversation.

I feel really bad about not posting sooner. I tried to post the other day, but my whole post went missing. This is the second time in a row that this has happened to me. To be honest, I get so pissed off when this happens that I get stubborn and will not post. It seems that I have had these sort of problems since I switched to the Google Beta, I am hoping that the problems will decrease soon.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did.

13 days and counting...

2006-11-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

I had actually written a post the other day, but some how or another, it was lost, I was discusted and decided to wait to post.

Sunday a group of my friends, my mother-in-law and Sophia all threw a surprise baby shower for me. They took me out to my favorite Chinese restaurant and gave me lots of wonderful gifts. I was so embarressed when I got to the restaurant that I actually turned around and started to walk back out. I don't embarrass easily, but I am not surprised that often either. Bob's mom picked up a cake from my favorite bakery (very yummy with chocolate mousse between the layers of cake). I splurged and had a piece, and despite the high blood sugar it caused, it was so worth it. I don't realize it every day, but I am so lucky to have such a great group of friends.

Bob found out the sex of the baby Sunday morning, so at least we are moving closer to a baby's name. I will keep it a secret from you guys for now. It will give you something to wonder about. For those of my readers who do know the sex, please keep it a secret for now. I will be in the hospital for four days, so don't look for a post until after 12/1 or 12/2, unless the hospital has wireless, which I don't think that it does, but I would love if it did.

I am getting pretty excited. I did finally start to pack my bag today. I have so much to do around here, but am totally slacking right now. I do things, but at a very leisurely pace.

Monday I went for my second fetal non-stress test. The baby did not cooperate, so it took twice as long as normal. I was trying really hard to hear the baby's heartbeat, but the woman in the bed across from mine had her TV on so loud, I could barely hear. The nurse eventually went over and turned down the TV, so that we could hear. She was watching some trashy Maury Povich show. I hate those kind of shows, anyway. The test results were great, we just had to work for them.

I am still dealing with the diabetes thing day by day. Yesterday was a perfect day as far as blood sugar goes. So far today has been good, too! They have made some adjustments to my insulin and I have to contact the Diabetes educator every other day to give her my results. I have lost a few more pounds this week. I was holding steady at my last appointment, but I did not feel well on Monday and I think that might be when I lost weight. I was giving myself an injection at lunch today and noticed a nice size bruise on the left side of my stomach. I try to rotate the area where I inject, but with a huge stomach in your way, a new spot seems hard to reach. A few of my friends are totally grossed out that I have to inject in my sides so close to the baby, but I keep telling them that it is really not as close as you think.

I had a slight scare the other night. I had not been feeling the baby move for awhile, so I started to count kicks and after about an hour or so, I finally got a few movements out of the baby. He/she must have been very tired. It was scary and I think I scared poor Bob to death. This was on Monday night, but yesterday and today, the baby has been very active. Now Bob asks me all the time if I have been feeling the baby move. I guess this is the hard part of being an expectant father.

Well I have gone on long enough. I hope you are all well!!!

Misc...

2006-11-07T20:31:00.000-05:00

We still have no definite baby names. With today being exactly 21 days until the new baby arrives, we need to get on the ball. Girls names are easier and we are pretty good there, but I feel bad if the baby is a boy, he will have no name!

I am still having Diabetes issues. Currently, I am taking four injections of insulin a day and checking my blood sugar five times a day. The injections are not as bad and the finger pricks for the blood checks. I could not imagine living this way the rest of my life. I went for my first non-stress test at the Family Birthplace at the hospital yesterday. According to my doctor, our results were perfect. This was great news! I have to go for the non-stress tests for the next two Mondays and see my doctor on Thursdays. He wants to see me twice a week now that we have moved on to insulin injections.

I am totally not ready for the baby. The room is not ready and I don't even have my bag packed. My friend says that I will start nesting anytime soon and I will be ready. As tired as I have been feeling lately, I doubt it. I ordered a new robe and as soon as it arrives, I will pack my bag.

I did vote, but not today, I did an absentee ballot. Apparently our little rural county had over 6,000 people request absentee ballots. I had a hard time deciding who to vote for as I think most politicians suck. It is a shame that I feel this way, but I am positive I am not alone in the sentiment. So I guess we will find out all of the results tomorrow, unless the absentees create some doubt.

I forgot to mention that I watched the Dukes of Hazzard movie the other night. While it was somewhat entertaining, I felt my IQ dropping by leaps and bounds. I am usually pretty choosy about movies, but it came on and I was too lazy to surf the HBO channels for something else.

That is about it for now.

I hope you are all well. Do me a favor, go and eat something sweet, I totally need a fix.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

2006-11-04T23:07:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to share a photo of Sophia in her Halloween Costume.

She adores the shoes and plays with them every day now. She is a little girl who loves all things that sparkle.

What a week...

2006-11-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here more tired than you can possibly imagine. On more than one occasion in the past week, I have fallen asleep in the chair where I now sit, to be woke up to the sound of, "Wake up Mommy" or "Why are you sleepy, Mommy." I wish that I wasn't, but it can not be helped. I would love to just have two days to do nothing, but sleep, but that is not going to happen any time soon.

I have been so busy since last week. I volunteered at preschool again last Thursday. The kids are all so sweet. It is funny to see how each of them have these adorable little quirks. One little girl is obsessed with the color pink. She is so obsessed that she will actually pocket something if it is pink and take it home with her. Another little boy loves vacuum cleaners. He will walk around playtime with a vacuum, even if he plays with other toys it stands guard right beside him.

Friday night we went to a friends birthday party and we did not get home until after 2:00. I had to be up by 7:30 the next day, so I was so tired. I am not used to being up late, especially right now. I am sure that it will be different in about six months. It was great to be around some other adults. I had a good time talking about things other than the children's TV programs that are currently playing or arguing with Sophia about what to eat for lunch. It was a much needed diversion and was worth it, even though I was so tired on Saturday.

Saturday night Sophia had a Halloween party to go to. She had so much fun. She loves a party. She danced, played games and of course ate food that was bad for her. She actually got sick twice during the night. I am sure that this was because she ate too much candy and other sweet stuff. She definitely loves to eat sweets.

Sunday we went to mass and then I had some special stuff that I had to do for the Christmas Bazaar at the Church. This consisted of going through what seemed like a mountain of junk and getting it ready for the White Elephant sale during the bazaar. Again, I was wiped out.

Monday was spent getting ready for Halloween. Bob's parents,a few friends and their kids and Sophia's Godparents stopped by to help us celebrate. Sophia had fun walking around with her friends and loved getting candy. I had made some yummy party type foods, but as usual, Sophia was not interested in them, she really wanted to eat junk. Once again, she threw up. This time it was all down the front of her very pretty made by Grammy Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz costume. It was pretty yucky. Thankfully, it was not very smelly.

On a pregnancy note, the Gestational Diabetes is still kicking my ass. As of tonight I have to start taking Insulin injections at bedtime. I had a class at the hospital today that went over how to do the injections. I am so nervous about it. I keep telling myself that I only have four weeks to go and that I will be able to handle it. I know one thing is for sure, I could never be a drug addict who uses needles.

My crazy mother called me at 7:00 this morning. Anybody who knows me knows that I am never up that early. If I would have known it was her, I would have let the call go to voice mail. Keep in mind that this is the first time that I have really spoke to my mother since April. She has known about me being pregnant since August, but has not said anything until now. She wanted to come for a visit, I told her that it would not work, because I had a class at the hospital today, but did not tell her why. I know it may sound horrible and selfish, but I really can't and won't deal with her right now. I just want to get through this pregnancy without any drama from her. She makes me so uncomfortable that I really don't want her to be around. I really just wish that I could explain to her why she bothers me. I have tried in the past, but it always falls on deaf ears. Her condition, much like an addicts, can only be helped if she can admit that she has problems and she is so trapped in her own little dream world that she just won't do that. The sad thing is that I really don't want to hurt her feelings.

Well, wish me luck, I have about an hour until I have to take the insulin. I will probably be freaking out!

I hope that you had a wonderful halloween. Take care!!

Parenting...

2006-10-23T22:06:00.000-04:00

Potty training sucks. Back when I was a little kid, parents sort of forced their kids to be potty trained. Today, you are supposed to let your kid lead the situation and not force it. So now that Sophia is three, I keep hoping that she will find an interest in being potty trained, but until today, this has not been the case. Today she actually told me that she wanted to go to the potty (YEAH, SOPHIA). I thought she was joking, but she really did go. I don't know what made the difference, but I am so thankful. I really was hoping that she would be potty trained by the time the new baby arrives, but with only about five weeks left, I don't really think that this will happen.

It is really hard to get inside the head of a three year old. Sophia is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde most days. She is so sweet and kind one minute and the next she is hiting, biting and screaming at you. I always try to calm her down when this happens thinking that if I can just get her attention, I can help her with why she is so upset. I often wonder if I ever take care of these sort of situations properly. Sometimes when this happens in public, I know that people think she is a brat and maybe I seem like a softy, but I was never a parent before Sophia, so I have to wing it. I wish that I could be a fly on the wall in other people's houses to see how they deal with this sort of thing. I am sure that other parents have the same issues, but I don't get to see it. If I did, it would help me feel like I was not such a failure all of the time.

I wonder if I will be able to handle both a new baby and Sophia, but I guess like all parents with more than one kid before me, I will figure it out. I know it will be very hard in the first few months. I am hoping that Sophia will be a little mommy to the new baby. I hope that I have shown her how to be a good mommy. I will keep you guys posted. Please pray for my sanity.

Take it easy!!!

I found out...

2006-10-21T00:20:00.000-04:00

...the sex of the baby, but can not post it here, because Bob does not want to know!!! So now I have about six weeks of trying very hard to keep things a secret. Some of my friends and family know, but they have been sworn to secrecy. It should be interesting to see who slips up first!!!

Just another day...

2006-10-19T21:40:00.000-04:00

I went to my OB appointment tonight. I have officially lost ten pounds since my last appointment, which was only two weeks ago. My doctor was not surprised, because I have really been sticking to the dietary changes that were prescribed for me. Even though I have worked really hard to keep my blood sugars down, things are just not working, so I now have to take a small does of Glyburide each day. Both my doctor and my Diabetes Educator feel that this will help me with the problems that I am having. I was very worried after loosing that much weight so quick. To put my fears to rest, my doctor is sending me for a sonogram tomorrow morning. My doctor was not worried about the weight loss and was great at helping me feel okay with everything that is going on.

Bob and his Dad have been working very hard in the basement. They finished the toy closet and I have actually been able to put a few things in there. I can't wait to get all of Sophia's toys down there. I have to go pick out paint for the room this weekend. I am thinking of a yellow orange to keep it bright and sunny looking since it is a toy room and is in the basement. We have a Tron arcade machine down there that we have not used in years and I was looking for a place to unload it. It needed to be repaired and we do not have the money to do it right now. Bob was very sad about this, because it was a gift from his parents. I don't know what made him do it, but he plugged it in the other night and now it seems to be working, so now it looks like it will be staying. I think it is a pretty neat thing to have in a toy room.

I volunteered at Sophia's preschool today. What a mess. She was so bad. I was embarrassed, but the teachers seemed to be okay with it. I can only hope she was acting up, because I was there. I think she does like going to school. She knows all of the kids names and seems to play with everybody. She always says that she does not like boys, but at one point, she was actually one girl playing with three boys. She has a field trip to a pumpkin patch next week. I think all of the kids will have so much fun.

Well that is about it for me right now. I hope that you are doing well.

Whoever said...

2006-10-11T09:37:00.000-04:00

pregnancy is wonderful is lying. Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy to be in my current situation, but I wish that I felt better. I am so tired all of the time and of course this is normal and apparently the Gestational Diabetes also contributes to that.

The Diabetes thing has been going okay. I am still a bit worried that I may have to take insulin as my sugar levels are running high in the morning. I will probably find out on Friday when I visit the Diabetes educator. Other than that, I am adjusting to the diet changes, although I am dying for something sweet. The closest I have gotten to something sweet is a Dannon Lite & Fit Carb & Sugar Control yogurt. It is okay, but it sure as hell ain't a candy bar. I keep wondering why my sugar levels are high if I am not eating any processed sugar, but apparently, because I am a vegetarian, I eat more carbs than most people, which contributes to the problem.

I can't wait for the educator to go over my eating habits with me. It will be a huge help and now that I have been given a 75% change of getting Type 2 Diabetes later in life, I really want to understand how to take care not only of myself, but my family, too! Both of Bob's grandmothers were diabetic as is his father, so as I like to put it, Bob is "on the hotrails to diabetes." So we will both benefit from the changes.

I know that I need to exercise more, but it is just so hard when I am so tired. Bob does not want me going by myself, just in case something happens, so last night, Bob, Sophia and I took a walk after dinner. It actually helped my sugar levels to drop just a bit. My one friend has volunteered to walk with me on the days that Sophia is in preschool. This will be great, because Sophia's preschool is next door to a county park where there is a walking track. Maybe Mimi should sing me one of her songs to encourage me!

I am still trying to get things ready for the baby, but first,my friend from South Carolina is coming for a visit this weekend. Right now my house looks like a bomb hit. I know things here won't look House Beautiful by this weekend, but I think they will be fine. I keep telling Bob that we have way too much crap for such a small house. He is working with me to solve my storage solutions, so hopefully, I will be able to find stuff when I need it. I am one of those people that has extremely messy closets and cabinets. I would just love to throw stuff out to help minimize my mess, but I think Bob would have a heart attack.

We all love books so there are books everywhere, I would love to go through and donate some to a place that needs them, but that would be a major undertaking. We have five floor to ceiling bookshelves in our living room, all of which are filled to over capacity. There are books shoved in every direction and in front of other books book, making it is hard to find things.

I need one of those clean up shows to come in and help me, but you know what, I would be totally embarrassed!!!!!!

Oh well, that is life with Linda for right now. I hope that you all are doing well.

Oh no...

2006-10-04T21:08:00.000-04:00

I really don't know what else to say. This pregnancy has been going so smoothly that I should have known that things would change. As is customary, my doctor sent me for a one hour glucose screening. I failed this test and then was sent for a three hour glucose tolerance test, which I also failed. I was advised today that I have Gestational Diabetes and have to go to a class at the hospital for Diabetes education and also see a Dietician.

I am pretty bummed out about this. If I really behave myself the baby should see no side affects. I have never been a person with great self control, so the next two months are going to be rough.

I am so pissed because I just ordered some Girl Scout cookies that I now can not eat. I told Bob that all sweet things will need to be out of the house. I told Bob that if he and Sophia need something sweet that they can go out for ice cream or something. Also, any candy that Sophia gets for Halloween will have to go to Bob's parent's house.

I do realize that sweets are not the only problem, but for me it is a start. I also have to worry, because after having Gestational Diabetes there is a chance that I could later get Type 2 Diabetes, which never goes away. It is just so much to digest right now.

I really thought I would be okay, because I failed the first test when I was pregnant with Sophia, but then passed the three hour test, so naturally I thought that is what would happen this time around. I started to look over some diabetic recipes today and I am not excited about them at all. I really want to succeed so I need to change my thinking.

Please send some positive vibes my way!

I hope that you are all well!

Three and counting...

2006-09-25T07:51:00.000-04:00

Sophia is now three. When I look at her, she is definitely a little girl and not a baby. We celebrated her birthday on the 17th. It was a good deal of work, but totally worth it to see her so happy. The party was held at a park, so the kids were able to get out and play together. We also did a craft and had a pinata.

Pinatas for whatever reason never seem to work for me. Last years pinata was so packed with candy that it was too heavy to hang properly. This years, while lighter and able to hang, would not let go of the candy. Bob and I ripped it and the candy started to fall out and then we had more candy on reserve which we threw in on top of the kids (I didn't want all of that candy in my house). Kids love being able to take home a big bag of candy, but I am sure that their parents hate it. Sophia never really picks up a bunch of candy, because she is selective as she picks up. She went to one party where she was busy lining her candy up while other kids were still collecting.

While in the middle of the pinata mayhem, two kids who are notorious fighters, got into a brawl. All I know is that at one point everything is fine and the next these two were throwing punches. And to top it off, they are girls. Girls are so competitive that I should not be surprised by this and these two are particularity bad. They are very good friends and one on one they are fine, but mix them with other kids and they are impossible. They try to figure out ways to exclude each other and in this case the one little girl spent most of the day crying. Apparently, she was crying to the point that she was literally making herself sick. I have spoken to each of the girl's moms since the party and they more or less blame it on the other kid. I have my opinion on the matter, but I let it slide. Some of my guests were horrified about the fight and confusion, to me it was just par the course for these two kids.

Sophia got what seems like a whole room full of presents. She had fun opening them. We did not give them all to her yet, because we just don't have the room to put everything out right now. We are in the process of building her new toy room, so she will have everything once we move her stuff in. We got her this really neat kitchen set for her birthday. She has loved playing with it, but I keep stressing to her to pick up the pieces, because they are the perfect size dog toys for Vinny the dog. Thankfully, I have only had to take something away from him once.

Sophia is doing pretty good in preschool. She is an ADHD poster child, I think. While I know that she is too young to be diagnosed with something like that, I do know that she is more active than most kids her age. I look back at my own childhood and after being told what's Bob's childhood was like, I think we both would have been classified as hyper. I am hoping that school will help her calm down. On Thursday, they told me that she did better. She goes to an Episcopal Church for preschool and is fascinated by the chapel at her school. Her teacher told me that they bribe her with being able to see the chapel if she is good. I had to laugh, most kids hate going to church, but Sophia can't wait to get in there. To me it is whatever it takes, of course when we take her to mass on Sundays she is horrible. I am thankful that her teachers are young. I think they have a tendency to be more forgiving than older teachers. New teachers are so excited about the job that they seem to be less worried about the problems that occur.

Our basement renovations are finally underway. Bob has been working very hard to get everything done. He says that we should have the work completed by the end of October. That will leave us a little over four weeks to get the kid's rooms done. Other than painting and actually moving furniture around, the rooms upstairs will be much easier to do. I say this, but I am actually not doing much of the hard stuff. I try to keep up with the every day housework, while Bob is stuck with the difficult stuff.

By the way, happy fall. I am so glad that fall is here. I hope that everybody is doing great!!!

No, I am not dead...

2006-09-15T00:04:00.000-04:00

I have just been busy. We actually went on a mini vacation over the weekend. It was so nice to get away for a few days.

Sophia's birthday party is on Sunday (her actual birthday is 9/21). We rented a pavilion at a nearby park and are having about 40 people. She wanted a princess theme, so I have spent part of my evening making castle shaped chocolate lollipops for her goody bags. I have so much to do before Sunday. Thankfully, Bob's parents are taking her overnight on Saturday, which will give us time to get a few things done. She is getting very excited.

On the baby front, things are going very well. I had an OB appointment today and my doctor is again very pleased. I also found out today that since I am having a repeat c-section, I do not have to have internal exams this pregnancy, for those of you who have ever been to the OB/GYN, you will certainly be able to appreciate this, for those of you who have not, I will spare you the details. My c-section is scheduled for 11/28 (the Tuesday after Thanksgiving), so at least now I know when the new baby will arrive. We still have no names picked out.

We are still working on the house. I hate this sort of stuff. It seems to take forever. I will just be so glad when it is done. I will probably end up spending a few days at my in-laws to avoid paint fumes. Sophia will love this.

Ever since before I was legal drinking age, I have attended the Maryland Wine Festival. I have only missed one year in about 16 years and that was the year that Sophia was born. The festival is this weekend and I would love nothing more than to throw back many glasses of wine, but that is not in the cards this year. Hopefully, next year. One strange thing with this pregnancy is that I am actually craving mixed drinks. I don't really drink that much and especially mixed drinks. I am more of a beer person. Just the other day I was at breakfast and I got this urge to drink a spicy Bloody Mary. Keep in mind that I won't drink, only think about it. I will miss the festival. We have a really fun bunch of people that we usually go with and we all get toasted, except for Bob. He does not drink and is our designated driver. My friend Jen and I are usually toasted enough that we eat raw oysters. This is the only time that this usually happens. I can take sushi, but raw oysters are a completely different ball game.

Sophia started preschool today. I did really well. I did not cry, but tears did well up when I left her there. It was a very strange feeling. She stills seems like a baby in so many ways. The one teacher said she did very well, but got really crazy at the end, which I figured would happen. I had a hard time getting her out of bed this morning. The first thing that came out of her mouth was, "can I sleep just a little bit longer?" I was floored. I did not say that kind of thing until I was much older. She was so exhausted in the afternoon, but would not take a nap. I picked her up from Bob's parents house and she fell asleep in my car around 5:40. I stayed in the car with her and let her sleep for 40 minutes. I knew if I moved her she would wake up. Hopefully, she will get better schedule-wise over the next few weeks.

So that about sums it up. I hope that all is well. Thanks for hanging in there!!!

Sunshine on a cloudy day...

2006-08-28T09:36:00.000-04:00

One day you are pregnant, the next day the baby is born and before you know it, the child is starting preschool.

Well that is where we are right now. Yesterday, we went for an ice cream social at Sophia's preschool. It was a way to introduce the kids to the school and their teachers in a nice gentle way. Sophia loved it. She wanted to go back right after we left.

I never thought that I would be one of those moms who would worry so much about Sophia going to school. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that she is going. I think she will love going and enjoy making new friends. She will also love it, because she likes to learn knew things and I think she will look on it as an adventure. I have a feeling that I will be sad on her first official day. This will be the first time I will have taken her to somebody besides a personal friend or family member.

We have been so lucky that Bob's parents will take Sophia when we need them to and besides them, the only other people who have ever watched her have been Sophia's godparents and my friends Rhonda and Christy. I then think about how this is the beginning of her time away from me and in two years, she will be going to kindergarten, which, by the time she gets there will be all day, which means I will see her less than half of the time that she is awake. I will have to miss a good deal of the funny things that she says and does each day. I wonder how I will survive without her smile all day long. Her smile makes the bad times, so worth it. Just like the song says, "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day."

Maybe I am selfish. Many moms don't get the opportunity to stay at home with their kids. I am sure that they miss seeing their kids while they are at work. I could not imagine having to have gone back to work full time when Sophia was just three months old, but moms (and dads) make this sacrifice each day. Maybe I need to concentrate on this fact and think about how lucky I am to have had her all to myself for almost three years.

So when I feel the tears welling up on September 12th when I drop Sophia off to school, I will think about her smile and how lucky I have been over the last three years. Maybe that will help (in my heart I doubt it).

Give your mom and/or dad a special thought today for the sacrifices that they made for you (even if the sacrifices they made are not obvious).

Small town...

2006-08-21T09:15:00.000-04:00

This past week was the week for the annual carnival in our town. We only live a few blocks away, so we went three times last week. It is not much more than an excuse for me to eat very yummy very bad for me food. I just can't resist the french fries. Sophia loved every minute of being there. She was mesmerized from the moment we got there until we left. She ate junk food, rode rides and played games. What a great week to be a kid.

I had my OB appointment on Thursday. The appointment could not have went better, if I would have asked for it. The doctor said he was pleased and that everything was going extremely well. He verified again that I will deliver the week after Thanksgiving. This should make for one of the best Thanksgiving dinners I have ever had. Imagine being very pregnant and hungry all of the time and a table full of some of your favorite foods. MMMMMM!!!

Sophia went to Dutch Wonderland with Bob's parents on Friday. She had so much fun, but was very tired and was a handful on the way home. Bob's Dad dropped her off and she went right to bed.

Sophia has had some very rough days and nights the past two weeks. She has always used a pacifier and two weeks ago she physically lost the last one we had. I told her that I was not able to find them in the store any more (which was not a complete lie, I tried to find them two weeks before she lost hers and was unable to find the right size). She was sad and did not sleep well for a few nights. Because of the lost pacifier, she has decided that she no longer wants to take her afternoon nap (this really sucks for me), although she still really needs it. She is a very action packed kid and needs all the rest that she can get. When she does not take an afternoon nap, she has a tendency to be very grouchy by the evening. I have talked to a few people and we agree it has got to be a bit like trying to quit smoking, it gets better after the first three weeks. I can only hope that it does.

Other than these things, I have been feeling pretty good, that is until Saturday. I actually started to feel very pregnant when I walked back from the carnival Saturday night. I knew that it was only a matter of time before my body started to catch up with me. Now my damn back has been hurting since Saturday and I feel like I am starting to get that late in pregnancy waddle. How attractive is that? Oh well, what did I expect.

I hope that you all are well. Have a great day!!!

Friends...

2006-08-12T22:52:00.000-04:00

I have been very bad about posting lately. Honestly, I have been busy. I have kept on reading and commenting on my friends blogs, but have been remiss in posting to my own.

Last week I got an email from an old friend. This friend and I shared a lot of memories together. We had both left home at an early age. Needless to say, things were not always easy, but we had a good deal of fun together. I can remember rolling change (pennies) to buy smokes at the store across the street from where we lived (which was down the street from Otter's WMC). We never had money for food (and barely rent), but always managed to have beer and other things to have fun with. Those were totally different times, not bad, just different.

Things changed, we both got married and she had two children. She moved away. We lost track of each other. It is not a hard thing to do, because you are so busy with your own life. I have tried to find her over the years and she me. Finally last week she found me on this blog.

We have talked to each other every day since then. And even though things are different in our lives (like a child for me and two more for her) it was so great to reconnect. Reconnecting in a lot of ways makes you feel good, because you know that there is somebody out there in the world who had been thinking of you. I am glad that she found me, it made my week. Hopefully, we will continue to stay in contact.

So forgive me for spending the week with an old friend. I would understand if you did the same.

If you have an old friend that you have lost track of, you should really try to get out there and find them. It might just make their week.

Mish Mosh...

2006-08-07T08:43:00.000-04:00

I have had a good deal on my mind lately, none of which is worth reading. Every time I thought about posting, I thought better of it. For better or for worse here are some things that have been on my mind.

My aunt told my mom that I was pregnant last week and would you know that my mom has not called to congratulate me. She apparently thinks I am pissed at her, well if I wasn't, I might be now. Oh well, I would rather not have to deal with her. She just makes me nervous anyway.

Last week Sophia and I went to visit a friend of my grandmother's (Grandma died 3/17/2000). I occasionally run into this friend and she really wanted us to stop by for a visit. So last week was the time to go. She had two gifts that my grandmother had given her that she wanted Sophia to have (a pearl necklace and a quilted wall hanging made by my grandmother). I thought this was wonderful Since Sophia never got to know her.

I had been thinking about my Grandmother quite a bit lately. I really miss her. With pregnancy hormones raging I am easily brought to tears these days, so thoughts of something that my grandmother touched makes the tears flow. I am not sure if the tears are happy or sad. That is sort of the way things have been going lately. I hate to feel all weepy for no reason. That is just way too emotional for me.

Bob's parents left for Russia on July 30. Since then I have been going to their house each day to check the pool and the kitty cats. I have had some people over and have been swimming most days. This has been great. Sophia is learning to be more self reliant in the pool, which gives me more of a comfort level with her in the pool. I would love for her to learn to swim before summer is over, but I doubt that will happen. She is so cautious and I can not convince her that it is okay to get her whole head wet. I guess that it will come with time. If worse comes to worse, we can get her into some winter swimming lessons.

I have to go back for the follow-up sonogram this week. I am still debating with myself about finding out the sex of the baby. Part of me really wants to know, but then I really don't want to take that surprise away from myself. I did not find out for Sophia and it was so wonderful to hear the words, "It's a girl." Bob does not want to know and I can go either way. I guess I have a few more days to think it over.

We still have not settled on any names for the baby yet. This kid may never be named. Bob likes such weird names for boys that I just don't want to discuss it. It seems that girls names are easier for us to decide on. We picked Sophia's name right away and we like the following for girls this time; Claire, Katherine or Mollie. Of course, they could still change, too!

I hope that you all are staying cool. It has been so hot over the last two weeks. Thankfully, it seems that you can finally get some relief in the shade now.

Be well!!!

Baby, baby, baby...

2006-07-27T18:06:00.000-04:00

We went to the hospital today for the sonogram for the baby. We took Sophia along to have a look. She stayed interested for a while, but then Bob's dad (who drove me) took her out to the waiting area.

It is always interesting to see a sonogram, but it is much more so when it is your own baby. We got to see hands, feet, legs, arms, kidneys, the heart, the bladder and umbilical cord. This was so much more in depth than any sonogram that I had before Sophia was born.

It is neat to watch the baby move on the sonogram, unless it is causing a problem. I feel the baby move quite a bit now, so I know that he/she is very busy. Unfortunately, it was so busy hiding its face today that I have to go back in two weeks for an additional sonogram. To quote the sonographer, "I can't get a look at it's face or between its legs." I had to laugh, but I thought, if it is so obstinate now, how is it going to be after it is born. It may even give Sophia a run for her money.

We went to lunch after we left the hospital and now I feel like crap, because I ate too much. I feel bad when I don't eat and feel even worse some times when I do, so what is a girl to do.

I will keep you posted on the next sonogram.

I am sorry that I have not had much to say lately, it just seems like I want to sleep more and times when I used to spend blogging are times when I can actually take a nap.

I hope all is well!!

We're back, etc...

2006-07-21T08:42:00.000-04:00

Today makes a week since I got home from the beach. I was so damn tired that it literally took about three days to feel better. I just did not sleep well. You would think that after vacationing in the same condo for the last ten years that I would be used to it enough to rest well, but that is not the case.

I took Sophia to her follow-up appointment for the broken collar bone on Tuesday. She was only going to have to keep the brace on for four weeks, but since she was so active in the doctor's office, we now have to keep it on the full six weeks. He said that active kids sometimes need the extra reminders to stay calm. Other than that, he could feel the calcification on the bone, which means that it is healing properly. So now she has about three more weeks of restriction. The brace that she wears is getting so yucky, but I am afraid that if I wash it, it will fall apart. I have to give it a try though, because it is disgusting.

As for me, I went to my OB doctor's appointment on Wednesday. We could not hear the baby's heart beat so we had to have a sonogram. We DID get to see the baby moving around, so all is good. I have to go down to Baltimore next week for a sonogram, apparently, up here in the country, we don't have really good facilities for a level III sonogram. Since I am over 35 and opted not to do amnio, this is what I have to do. I am not worried, though!

Another note of interest, it has been ungodly hot here this week and I literally have spent most of my time indoors. It is too hot to even go outside to swim. On Tuesday afternoon, I was making dinner and I hear this really strange and very loud sound coming out of my basement. The damn air conditioner broke. I was so mad. We have a friend who did it on the side for us at cost (Thank God), but since the unit is sixteen years old, he suggested that we look into replacing it. YUCK! We have to tear apart walls to do this and since we are in the process of redoing our basement, this is the perfect time to do it. So now we have to put out a few grand to upgrade.

My family reunion was this past weekend. I said I would let you know what I did. I did not go. After sending my response to my sister that we could not make it, I never heard anything back from her or my dad and stepmom. One would think that if they really wanted us to attend that they would have said something back (sorry to hear that you can't make it, etc...). I think about this situation often. I feel bad that Sophia has no grandfather or really a grandmother on my side (thankfully Bob's parents are awesome grandparents). I think about the time when I will have to explain why she does not and I hope that she will not feel bad about the situation. I often feel like I should at least write my dad a letter telling him why this stuff hurts me so bad, but I really think that he won't care anyway. Oh well, Sophia is a wonderful kid and he is really missing out!!

Sun, fun and me...

2006-07-09T14:07:00.000-04:00

We are still here at the beach. The weather has been pretty great. It was a bit cloudy yesterday, but it was still really nice on the beach. Today it is in the 80's and very sunny. We got to see some dolphins swimming by us while we were out on the beach.

Sophia has been wonderful. The first few days down here were a bit hard since she was dealing with the pain and discomfort of her shoulder. She had been holding her arm a bit gimpy, but now seems to be able to do some things with it. We are pretty sure she is left handed, so watching her try to eat with her right hand is a bit funny. It just looks so backwards.

Last week we took the Cape May - Lewes Ferry over to New Jersey. Sophia loved it. We love lighthouses and managed to see two while we were there. Cape May is a really cute little town. In some ways (minus the crystal clear water, warm weather and palm trees) it reminds me of Key West. I think mostly this is due to the older houses there. On the way back to Delaware on the ferry one of the people working gave Sophia a coloring book and crayons. We asked her why he gave her this and she replied "because I'm beautiful." She totally thinks the sun rises and sets with her.

We have been to the boardwalk a few times. This usually means rides for Sophia and some junk food for all. I have not managed to get any french fries yet, but I might just have to do that tonight. Some of Sophia's friends families are down tonight and tomorrow, so we are hoping to meet up with them, so that the kids can get on some rides together. Sophia is so social, I think she will just love this.

I personally have been feeling great. Now that I am in my second tri-mester, the only problem that I seem to have on a regular basis is heartburn and I can just take something for that. I have been able to actually read a book to completion, which is something that takes me a long time to do at home. I come up to the condo in the afternoon so that Sophia can take a nap and this is great alone time. She has been so worn out that she will sleep for about two hours without any hesitation.

I really do want to post some photos, but I have to rely on Bob's help for this. When we finally get some time, I will pick out a few and have him help me post.

Anyway, I hope that you guys are well and I hope that wherever you are it is sunny and warm (sorry Mimi!!).

Please no more...

2006-07-01T01:04:00.000-04:00

We had a good bit of things to get done to get out of the house to leave early for vacation. Since much of the day was spent yesterday dealing with Sophia's broken collar bone, some things had to be pushed off until this morning.

We had planned to leave around 9:00, but figured that we would not leave until around 10:00. We always go to the beach with Bob's parents, it makes for a full car, but it saves on gas money. Around 9:00 Bob's dad calls to tell us that a pipe has sprung a leak in their basement and that they have had to call a plummer.

The pipe was fixed by about 11:00. We all get into the car to get ready to go and the car won't start. Now we are all beginning to think that maybe we shouldn't go. Between Sophia's injury, the broken pipe and now the car, it just seemed like everything was going against us. After much running around and finally switching cars (it was discovered that the alternator was bad on the other car) we finally got to leave around 2:30.

We did make some stops on the way. We stopped at Blackwater Wildlife Refuge near Cambridge, MD. We were hoping to see some Bald Eagles, but only got to see one from a distance. It was pretty cool though, because he/she was hunting. It was waiting in the middle of the road and took off after something in the water and swooped down to get it. The shame of it is that we did not get any pictures of it. We saw some beatiful herons and cranes. I see them where we live, but usually only one once in a while. There were many in the park. We saw some turtles and possibly an otter. All in all that seemed to help what had otherwise been a very crappy day. We also stopped into a book store, bought tons of books and then stopped for something to eat.

We finally got here around 10:15 and I am just glad that we arrived in one piece.

Sophia is doing well with her shoulder. She was a afraid to remove the strap that she has to wear, but did let me take it off at bath time and decided that she did not need it for bed tonight. She was so tired, but took a little while to fall asleep. She is sleeping in bed with her Grammy tonight and I know that that makes her very happy.

I know one thing is for sure that the last few days have been some of the worst I have had. I am hoping that this vacation will be relaxing enough to forget about it.

I hope you are all doing better than me! I will try to post some photos when I get them.

By the way, please ignore any spelling errors. We only have dial-up at the beach and it takes too damn long to use the spell check!!!!!

What a day...

2006-06-29T15:21:00.000-04:00

Well as I have mentioned a few times, we leave for vacation tomorrow. Bob had some last minute stuff to finish up at work, so he had to be there at 4:00am this morning. Which left me to sleep in the whole bed (even though I had to share with the dog). At 5:45am I heard this loud thump coming out of Sophia's room, so I ran in and she had fallen off the bed. I could tell by the way that she was crying that she was hurt!! She was holding her arm and crying.

I talked to her pediatrician at 6:30am, he said to give her motrin and call into the office after 8:00am to make an appointment to come in. Thankfully, we were able to get in at 9:15. We got there a few minutes early and they were waiting for us. The doctor did not think that the arm was broken, but possibly had been dislocated and then relocated. To be safe he sent us for x-rays.

The x-rays were an ordeal. Bob's father came along to help, because I could not go in with her due to being pregnant. She cried and screamed. It was terrible. More than anything I think she was scared, poor kid. After the x-rays were done, they told me to go to the waiting room and wait to be called, because my doctor needed to give me the results. After about five to ten minutes they send me to a phone and my doctor is on the line. I was informed that Sophia had fractured her collar bone. Oh no, I thought and started to tear up. They also told me that this is one of the most painful fractures.

So we go back to the doctor's office and wait again, because Sophia has to be fitted for a strap to hold her shoulders back. They gave us her list of do's and don'ts, but did say that we can still go on vacation. Her activities will have to be limited, but at least she can still play on the beach and stuff.

I brought her home, gave her more motrin and laid her down. That was at 2:30. She has cried out in pain a few times. It is now 3:30 and she is still not asleep. I hope that she can get some rest. I know that it will help her.

So now I have to finish packing and worry about Sophia. I joked when she got her stitches a few weeks ago that this would not be the last trip to the emergency room, but I did not think it would be so soon. I am exhausted.

Anyway, I probably won't be posting as much. I still hope to get some of the tea pictures out there and if, not I will send out some beach photos.

Wish me luck...

PS Don't mind any grammaticial errors. I am too pooped to pop!

Rain rain go away...

2006-06-27T08:25:00.000-04:00

It has been raining so much here that I feel the need to build an ark. Sophia loves the rain. She and Bob went out exploring in the rain last night. She put on her raincoat and boots and took her umbrella with her. We have a dry pond behind our house that fills up with water when it rains. This is an endless source of fascination for her.

When it rains like this I really don't feel like getting out of bed. It just seems like it is not time, because the sun does not seem to shine.

I really have to start getting ready for vacation. I have some cleaning to do and lots of laundry to do. YUCK, I hate the laundry. Since I live in a townhouse, it means going up and down lots of steps. Usually, Bob will help me with this which is a great relief. With my growing tummy, it is sometimes hard to maneuver the steps with load of laundry in my hands.

Sunday was Sophia's tea party. I will post more about that when I get some pictures resized and ready to post. I think she had fun. It was a bit chaotic and I was very tired that evening and yesterday, but I think it was worth it.

For those of you who are ready this in Maryland stay dry. If you are lucky enough to be someplace dry and sunny then I am glad for you.

Have a great day!!

In & out, help...

2006-06-22T09:16:00.000-04:00

For years I have struggled with the relationships (or lack there of) that I have with my parents. Most of the time I feel better when I have no contact. I have very few memories of my father as a child, as I mentioned before, my parents divorced before I was two. It seems he has been coming and going out of my life as long as I can remember.

I have one very early memory of my parents giving me a present (a tricycle) and it was before they were divorced. I don't remember my father leaving my mother and me, but that is probably for the best. The next memory I have of him was when I was around four or so. This was when my mother, her new husband and I went to meet my father and his new wife so that he could sign the adoption papers for my stepfather to adopt me. I remember sitting on his lap while he signed his parental rights away. My next memory was from when I was about eight or nine years old when we met him at a mutual friends house for dinner. He was out of my life again for about nine or ten more years until he showed up at my high school graduation. It was a complete surprise, but according to the adoption papers, he was not legally able to see me until after I turned eighteen. So this was where he came back into my life somewhat regularly.

We tried to make things work, but I am not sure that my dad really thinks of me as his daughter. He has a daughter that is eleven years younger than me. Three Christmases ago, Sophia's first Christmas, he called and wanted to come for a visit. I was fine with that, but was disappointed when he never showed up and did not even call to say he was not coming. I was broken hearted and cried for a few days over this. I did not see him at all that next year and at Christmas time I get a call from him again saying he wanted to come out. The day they were supposed to arrive, something told me that I should call and when I did, my stepmother told me that they were not coming and that my sister was supposed to call and tell me. Well years of pent up aggression came out and I let her have it. I told her that I did not want them calling me again, because I did not deserve to be treated this way. I tried to remain calm, but told her exactly how I felt fighting back tears. It hurt so bad to say the things, not because they came out a bit mean spirited, but because deep down inside I knew that they were true.

I have not heard from them since then, until yesterday. I got an email from my sister. It was in regards to a family reunion to take place in about three weeks. My stepmother wanted my sister to forward the message to me, because she and my father wanted us to attend. I began to wonder what I should do. I got this huge lump in my throat and I forwarded the message to Bob in somewhat of a distress call manner. Bob is usually left to pick up the pieces when something major goes down with my family, so he knows how much these sort of things tear me up.

Then all of these thoughts start to float around in my head. Does my father want to treat me better or is this more of the same bullshit from the past? It hurts that he has never met Sophia and she will be three in September. It hurts that he never calls, even when we are on speaking terms. Did the recent passing of Father's Day make him think about me? I know that no matter what we decide to do, I can not expect anything to change. This also hurts, because inside of me there is this little girl who only wants the love of a father. I don't want much, I just want the occasional phone call letting me know that I am loved, that he is not sorry that I was born.

I know I will be depressed about this for a few days and then feel better. Bob will talk through the situation with me and I will get over it. I just wish that my father either wanted to be in my life for real or just let me go, because this in and out of my life stuff is just more than I can handle at times.

Thanks for listening, I will keep you posted about what I plan to do.

Have a good day!

Pregnancy woes...

2006-06-20T21:24:00.000-04:00

So I am now 15 weeks pregnant. This is good for a couple of reasons, one the chance of miscarriage is greatly reduced after week 12 and two I am finally not feeling so nauseous now.

That being said though, there are other problems. Just about every pregnant woman feels the things I am going to describe, but that does not make it any easier for me to handle.

1. I am having a hard time sleeping. No matter what I do, where I place my pillows, what time I go to sleep, or if I pee before I go to bed I just don't sleep well. I get up at least twice a night to pee and then if it is after 4:00am, I have a hard time falling back to sleep. This sucks, because I am a person who really loves my sleep.

2. My nausea has been replaced by heartburn. I take Pepcid AC as much as I can, but that does not always help. Right now I am craving things that contain tomatoes and things that are sour and this seems to cause heartburn. So I eat the stuff that I love and it makes me sick.

3. I have never professed to be a mental giant, however I seem to forget everything. One day about two weeks ago, we could not find the cord-less phone. I could hear it ringing, but could not find it. So we paged the phone and finally found the phone in the freezer. Yeah that's right, the freezer. The sad thing is that I actually caught myself trying to put it back in the freezer a few days later. On Sunday, we were going to spend the day at Bob's parents' house and I was going to make dinner for Father's Day, I actually forgot some stuff that was very important to the meal. I feel like I am walking around in a cloud most of the time, and I hate this!

4. I am having some other various body ailments that are too embarrassing to discuss, so I will just say that there are other physical problems that are equally as awful as the other things that I have listed.

All that being said, I should be able to start feeling the baby move in the next few weeks. That is something that makes everything (besides all of the side effects) seem real. We have started to think about names, but so far, we are not settled on anything. Before Sophia was born, we had a hard time coming up with a boys name and it seems to be the same this time. I don't know why. For girls names, we like Katherine or Claire, but that might change.

One this is for sure, this pregnancy has been so much different than when I was pregnant with Sophia. Other than being in labor for two days, I was never sick. They say that each pregnancy is different. Some people are saying that this baby might be a boy.

Just for fun, why don't you guys send me some of your favorite baby names, I am just curious about what people like. Just humor me!!!

By the way, I saw the movie Cars today. Sophia was horrible during the movie. I have to say that I really liked it. Pixar does a really good job with little touches that just makes things amazing. The story was cute, but I would say that it is not for really little kids, because it runs 116 minutes, which is just way too long for toddlers.

Have a great evening!

He's home...

2006-06-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

So we went to pick up Bob from the airport last night. He was in Milwaukee, WI for a few days. His flight was about twenty minutes late. Two year olds never understand why they have to wait. Thankfully, Bob's parents were with me and helped me chase Sophia around. She loves the airport. She has been there so many times, between Bob traveling for work and his parents going on vacation, she has probably been there about a dozen times. She was mad when we dropped Bob off, because we did not go in, so I promised that we could go in when Bob got back.

There is one bonus to Bob being away and that is that I get the entire bed to myself. When Bob is gone, I have no breaks from Sophia and I have to take the dog out. Vinny (the dog) decided that he would go on a bit of a "Poop Strike" and would not go as much as he normally does. Then I have to worry that he might go in the house. Normally, he is very good this way, but I thought he might be confused about Bob not being here and slip up. Thankfully, he was good. Bob took him out when we got back from the airport and all systems were normal. He is normally my dog, but I could tell that he really missed Bob.

I have been wanting to swim all week, but the weather just won't cooperate. Yesterday was a beautiful day, but it was so windy. Sophia is so tiny that she gets cold very quick in a breeze. At least the sun was out which will help to warm up the water. It was only 70 earlier this week. It is supposed to be gorgeous out this weekend, so hopefully, we will get some swimming in.

Since Sunday is Father's Day, I will make dinner for Bob and his father. They love Mexican, so that makes my choices easy. I do have to get my thoughts in order, so I know what to make and most importantly, what to get at the grocery store. I really hate the grocery store. I especially hate taking the groceries into the house. Normally, I take the perishables in and make Bob do the rest, because it is just so hard to do with Sophia. I keep thinking that it will only get worse with the new baby.

Sophia is finally letting me potty train her. She has been doing really well. I hope that when we go away in two weeks she does not slip back into bad habits. Oh well, she is just a kid and I have to be patient.

I hope that you are all well!

Just say no...

2006-06-10T08:32:00.000-04:00

I went to Fudruckers with some other moms yesterday for lunch. As usual, it was a zoo. Kids everywhere, wanting everything. I like all of the kids that Sophia plays with, but some are definitely spoiled. They get whatever they want and will continue to ask for what they want, until they get it. It really gets on my nerves.

We try really hard not to let Sophia get this way. While I admit she can be very spoiled at times, we do try to keep her under wraps. There are many times that I simply tell her "no" because I want her to hear the word. We make at least one trip to Walmart a week and each time she asks to ride the little rides in the front of the store. If I have change she gets to ride, if not, she doesn't. Other moms would cave into the pleadings and go and get change, but not me.

I find that kids today really do have too much. I look at the older kids who are driving and can not believe the cars that they have. They might be working for them, but are they saving any money for other things or are their parents footing the bill for everything else. Don't get me wrong, parents should pay for some things, but kids need to learn that money does not grow on trees. What we create by letting our kids live on the notion that they can have everything now is a society that is reliant on credit. When Sophia is old enough to drive, we will buy her a safe car and we will get her help with insurance and gas. Plus, she will be made to put some money into savings.

My parents paid for car and insurance, but I drove an old piece of junk that would not be safe by today standards. When I was a senior, I lived apart from my parents and I paid for my gas, clothing, and food. They paid my rent and for my car.

I am not a scrooge and I believe that kids need to have fun and should not be worried about bills and things like that, but there needs to be respect for where money comes from. Telling kids "no" will not hurt them and in fact may make them a stronger person.

Have a great day. It looks like it is going to be beautiful outside today!!

Nothing too important...

2006-06-06T22:27:00.000-04:00

Sophia's stitches are healing nicely and she has surprisingly left them alone. We go on Thursday morning to get them out. It might be a bit uncomfortable, but maybe we can go for a treat or something afterwards to make her feel better.

I went to my OB appointment today. So far everything seems to be going well. My blood work came back perfect and I only gained about a pound or so. I talked to the doctor about feeling sick and tired all of the time. He said the nausea should be ending soon and that I am feeling extra tired this pregnancy, because I am three years older than my last pregnancy and that I am chasing a toddler every day. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time today. We recorded it and let Sophia listen to it. She was all smiles and described what she heard. I think she is going to be a great big sister.

I just hope that I will be up to the task when the new baby gets here. Hopefully, Bob will be able to take of a few weeks and maybe his mom another week. That would be a huge help.

We (Bob's mother and I) are having a tea party for Sophia and her friends at the end of the month. We wanted to do a few special things for her this year before the new baby gets here. I can't wait. I would have loved this sort of thing when I was a little girl. I hope to have a bunch of pictures to share.

I am counting down the days until vacation. We will be at the ocean from June 30 to July 14. I plan on resting as much as I can, since I will have help with Sophia. I have to find some good books to read between now and then. I have not read a book in a while, so this will be a big treat.

We are going to take Sophia to see the movie, Cars, some time next week. She giggles every time she sees something about the movie. It will be a challenge, because she was horrible during the last movie that I took her to. Thankfully, I go during the middle of a weekday, when there is nobody else there, but moms with toddlers. This time I am taking another adult to help me keep her sequestered in her seat.

Nothing else new except that Bob is going out of town for a few nights next week on business. I hate when he goes, not only because I will miss him, but more importantly, because I have to take out the dog. I am so paranoid that he will get out of his leash (which he has done twice before) and I will have to look like an idiot chasing him around the neighborhood. It is also hard, because I will have no break from Sophia and believe me there are days when I need it.

I hope all is well!!!

Oh what a night...

2006-06-01T10:05:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a meeting to attend and when I came out around 8:50 my phone rang and it was Bob. He told me that he had Sophia at the playground and she fell (going up a sliding board) and split her chin open. He called the pediatrician and they said to take her to the emergency room. I told him I would meet him there and left to do so.

I was at my meeting with Bob's mom, so she followed me to the hospital and I called Bob's dad on the way and he was going to meet us there, also. So there were four cars for one child's trip to the emergency room. We always joke that Sophia travels with a posse.

It was about 9:30 until we got to the hospital, which about Sophia's normal bedtime. She was already tired, but we were not prepared to not see a doctor until about midnight. There were so many kids there that seemed to be in the same predicament as Sophia. The little boy next to us had the same injury, but you would have thought that he was being killed he screamed so much. Poor little guy!

The nurse had told us that they might be able to glue the injury, but when the doctor got in, he said the cut was too deep and would need a few stitches. So they wrapped Sophia up like a mummy in a blanket and laid her on this thing called a Papoose Board which immobilized her. They laid a cloth over her head that had a hole over the injury and started working. They started injecting the numbing medicine and she was fine for about the first two and then started to cry and then I started to cry for her, so I had to turn away. Thankfully, it went rather quickly and even though she was upset she listened to what they told her and it was over in a matter of 10-15 minutes. She ended up with three stitches.

I was so proud of her, she was such a trooper. They gave her a bunch of stickers, a coloring book and a new blanket. It definitely could have been much worse!! I am so tired today since we did not get in until about 1:15. It is now 10:15 and I think Sophia is just waking up. She needed to sleep.

Anyway, have a terrific day!

Music and me...

2006-05-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

I was driving today and listening to Abbey Road by the Beatles. It has to be one of my favorite albums of all time. That being said, I started thinking about how certain songs or albums represent a special time in my life.

Everybody has a favorite aunt, uncle or cousin when they are kids. Mine is my Aunt Sue. She is my mother's youngest sister. She was 12 when I was born and I have always loved her. She and her husband (who gave me away when I married Bob) always had this stack of albums. I can remember going through them when I was young. They had the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, the 5th Dimension, ACDC, The Stray Cats and The Cars (the last two came a bit later). I can remember listening to albums by all of these bands at one time or another, but I will never forget looking at the cover for Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin and thinking that they must be really strange. When I hear Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones, I think of my Aunt and Uncle and how cool I thought they were when I was kid.

I never really started listening to music much on my own until I hit about 7th grade. The first album I bought on my own was Def Leppard's Pyromania. This band became my absolute favorites until late in high school. My friends probably thought I was crazy, but I really did not care, I was in love. Listening to them now (which does not happen that often) always makes me feel young and it is funny that I still know all of the lyrics despite how much time has past. They actually still tour, but for me they are part of my middle school and high school memories and I really want them to stay just the way I remembered them.

When I was a senior in high school I had many weekends spent out with friends, always under the influence. Many nights were spent playing quarters listening to ACDC and waiting for Headbangers Ball to come on MTV. We used to do a lot of driving around (never would do that now). One summer night I remember driving around with some friends and the album for the night was Aerosmith's Greatest Hits. Any time I hear that, I can feel the warm breeze on that summer night many summers ago.

I met Bob in early 1990. The one album that always comes to mind early in our relationship is Louder Than Love by Soundgarden. I learned a good deal about punk rock in those early days, but I think Bob learned a bit about classic rock music from me. Our musical tastes were very different, but we did manage to find out that we both loved the Beatles, so they were kind of common ground for us. The Beatles have been important for most of my life and when Bob and I were married the song that we chose to dance to was "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. Any time I hear that song, I think of our special day. Another song also makes me think of this day, but for another reason. Bob has always thought that Eric Clapton was an overrated musician and on the day of our wedding it was realized that we had not chosen a last song for us to dance to at the reception, so we basically told the DJ just to pick something nice and wouldn't you know it that he picked an Eric Clapton song (Wonderful Tonight). So now the irony of that song being chosen makes me think of Bob and our wedding.

When I was pregnant with Sophia I used to sit at my desk at work in the morning, eat my breakfast and play Abbey Road. Sophia used to start to move around when she heard the music. We used to play music for her each night before she was born and on the day she was born we played Abbey Road for her and I think she recognized it. She likes to listen to it now to hear Octopus's Garden.

I am not really listening to much new music these days, Bob does, but for me it is not that important. I hope that this is not a sign that I am getting old. I think that certain music will always be important to me and I hope that when a special musical moment in time happens, I don't fail to recognize it. Maybe as Sophia gets older, I will recogize special times through what she is listening to. Only time will tell.

Cherish each moment.

Some pictures finally...

2006-05-16T21:11:00.000-04:00

I have been promising for some time to post some pictures of Sophia, so the time has finally arrived. I have some good ones to show you.

We went to the Fairie Festival in Glen Rock, PA on May 5. It was a pretty fun time and Sophia had a blast. As you will see she wore a costume as many people do and in my opinion, she was the cutest fairie there that day. The property where the festival takes place is this natural beauty that is an organic farm the rest of the year. Bob was not able to go this year, but will go next year when we have two little fairies to take.

We went to Sherwood Gardens in Baltimore a few weekends ago. We make a yearly pilgramage there to take picutes of Sophia when the flowers are in bloom. Here is my favorite picture from this year.

We also recently got Sophia a pair of boots to go puddle jumping in. Behind our house is a large commom area with a dry pond. When it rains the pond fills with water. Sophia and Bob decided to take an adventure during a recent rain storm. To me, Sophia even looks beautiful when it rains!

For me personally, I have felt so sick the last few weeks that I have not felt like doing much. Everybody keeps saying that this baby must be a boy, since I never felt sick with Sophia. I keep thinking that I only should have a few more weeks of morning sickness, since I will finally be in my second trimester. By the way, here is a picture of my early sonogram. So far everything seems to be going good with this pregnancy.

Over the weekend, we had a surprise 40th Anniversary party for Bob's parents. It was a big success and they were totally shocked. They were still talking about the party yesterday. We had been planning this day for about a year and it was wonderful to see that our planning turned out so well. I love to throw a party, but hate the stress that it causes, so I was glad when the party was over. I was so tired that I was in bed by 10:00.

We celebrated Mother's Day at Bob's parents. It was a nice and relaxing day, which was nice, since I still needed to recover from the party the day before. Bob and Sophia got me a new pair of Birkenstocks and Bob and his father made my mother-in-law and me dinner. It was very good, but as usual lately, I felt sick after eating.

Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary. Thirteen years seems like such a long time, but it seems like only yesterday was our wedding day. Boy have we changed alot since them.

I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I hope that it was worth the wait.

Take care of yourselves.

Forrest, etc..

2006-04-25T11:19:00.000-04:00

My cat, Forrest, got sick over the weekend and unfortunately died yesterday. We always joked about his moodiness, but I will miss him. He was one of those cats that only needed you if he wanted a cuddle to be warm, but in his way it was endearing. I feel bad for one of my other cats, Tristan, because he and Forrest were friends. They would cuddle up on the bed and spend most of the afternoon snoozing together. I wonder if he realizes that he is gone. I know he will miss him as much as we do.

One of the negative things about being pregnant is that you have to pee all the time, including the middle of the night. Sunday night on one of my late night visits to the bathroom, I managed to knock my glasses of the night stand and step on them. They are bent all to hell. I love the frames, so I am ordering a piece to replace the broken one, but in the meantime, my stinking glasses won't stay on my face. This is driving me so crazy. It should only take a few days for the piece to get here, but for me that is not soon enough.

I went for my first OB appointment yesterday. The baby is due 12/9, but since I have to have a scheduled c-section, we are looking at a delivery date of 11/29, 11/30, or 12/1. I have to have a sonogram in two weeks to confirm the date. So we will have this new baby just in time for a nice tax deduction for next year. It will definitely make for an interesting Thanksgiving and Christmas. I guess I will have to get all of my shopping done early this year.

It was a rainy weekend, but Sunday the sun managed to peek out and it was very beautiful. We had to go to a Christening down in the DC area and the flowers were in bloom and it made the drive nicer. I hate driving near DC. I did pass by the exit for Scaggsville and thought of my friends there. Sophia was pooped by the time we got home and went to bed early (and so did I, after The Sopranos).

I wish there was something more enlightening to write about, but I have been so busy being outside with Sophia that I have not been doing much else. I will say that it is nice to be outside most days. She gets tired from the fresh air and takes a nice nap and some days I do, too!

I hope that you are all well and enjoying the wonderful spring weather!

Stinking Easter Bunny...

2006-04-19T21:53:00.000-04:00

Right now my stomach is upset. I would love to blame this on "morning sickness," but truth be told it is because I ate too much chocolate. I have been loving me some Easter candy this week. Bob and I both got an Easter basket and Sophia got two, so now there is all this stinking candy in the house calling my name.

Chocolate of course, has always been a weakness of mine. I love when you have this really smooth chocolate melting in your mouth (Lindt Lindor Truffles are quite yummy). I really just want the stuff out of the house.

I have gained a few pounds this week. I would love to blame this on pregnancy, but I can only blame it on gluttony. Stinking Easter bunny!!! And to top things off, I now have to go to the dentist tomorrow, because something has happened to one of my teeth. I can not figure out if I cracked a tooth, loosened a filling or just plain old have a cavity. All of the options are pretty shitty. I hate going to the dentist. Ever since I was a kid, I have always been susceptible to getting cavities and am having to get my teeth filled. I hate needles, so this makes things worse. Hopefully, things won't be too bad.

Well, I have complained enough. I need to just chill out and get rid of this stomach ache.

Have a great night

Easter...

2006-04-15T22:48:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, my parents just threw some candy into a basket on Easter morning. I was lucky though, because some kids got nothing.

I have been buying and gathering stuff for Sophia's Easter basket for close to a month. I ordered some special candy from See's Candy in San Francisco and bought her usual favorites (Swedish fish, jelly belly's and marshmallow peeps) locally. She also got some stickers, bubbles, an Easter Bunny that poops jelly beans, and this really neat fountain that spins around and squirts water for the bath tub. We also bought her a tool set, yes a tool set. I have a small set that she loves to look at so we thought it would be a good thing to get her.

Now comes the real chore. How the heck do I get all of this crap into her Easter basket??? I realized right away that her tool set would not fit into the basket, so I decided that she would receive this separately from her basket. I literally sat for about a half an hour putting stuff in and taking stuff out. I almost got to the point that I was going to just give up, but then I tried once more. Thankfully, I was able to get everything in. It is so packed that I could barely get the cellophane around it. I still think it looks like crap, but Bob said that when he was a kid, even though his mom took the time to arrange things, he never really cared how it looked. So that made me feel better.

Someday, Sophia will probably go through the same thing for her kids and then wonder if her mom went through the same thing.

As I said before, my birthday was April 5th. My mom neither called or sent me a card for my birthday. So on her birthday, April 7th, I gave her the same treatment, although I had already bought her a present. So Friday afternoon, my mom calls and wants to come down to see me (she lives in PA). I really didn't want to, because being with my mom is like watching paint dry, but I met her for dinner at a local restaurant around 5:00. We go in and sit down. She says, since your birthday was last week, here is a card. It was a very generic card. It had nothing about it being for her daughter or anything on it. On the inside she wrote belated after where it said "Happy Birthday" and then also wrote "Happy Easter." She never signed it though (Love, Mom or Fuck You, etc.). I thought that very strange. Well she is strange. For a gift I got a $20 bill tucked inside the card. Now I am not complaing about the gift, because I know that my mom cannot afford much, but I am complaining about how the gift just seemed like it was picked up on the way to meeting me for dinner. Then some strange stuff happened and my mom left the restaurant in a huff. She is so damn crazy that she probably has no idea that what she did for my birthday was bizarre. Oh well, at least I won't have to see her for a few more months.

By the way, my mom is so unstable that I have decided that I am not going to tell her I am pregnant. She was not happy for me the first time and barely pays attention to Sophia, so it is probably no big deal to her anyway. When I was in labor with Sophia and in the hospital, my mom found out and came in. This would not have been so bad, if she did not weird me out. She stood at my bedside and just stared at me. I finally had to tell her that there was a seat across the room that she could sit in. She makes me so uncomfortable.

Now don't get me wrong, there is someplace deep down inside of me that loves my mom, but it is so buried that only a major excavation could dig it out. I know that she has worked hard her entire life and that she has made many sacrifices for me. I am pretty sure that her parents wanted her to get an abortion when she got pregnant with me at 17, so she has given me life at least twice. My mom was a single mom in the early 70's when it was much harder to be a single mom. It is hard when I think about all that I want for Sophia and then think about my mom. I wonder if she ever dreamed for me or was she simply just passing the time until I was old enough to be out of her hair, I hope it was the first, but somehow that is very hard for me to imagine. I wonder if Sophia will feel the same of me as I do about my own mother. I hope not, because most things that I do in life, I strive to do differently than my mother, starting with how her Easter candy is placed in her basket. I hope that she will someday look back and realize that I think of her in all things that I do.

I hope that you all have a wonderful Easter. Now get out there and eat some candy.

Tagged...

2006-04-11T14:11:00.000-04:00

So I was tagged, here are my answers...

Four Jobs I've Had
1. Nanny - just like Mary Poppins
2. Waitress - Pizza Hut Slut
3. Drinking Water Tester - Dirty job, but not bad
4. Greenhouse Worker - Nice, but not when it's hot

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Fargo - I have seen this movie so many times and it never fails to make me laugh.
2. The Wedding Singer - What can I say, I was in middle and high school during the 80's
3. Star Wars - Bob and I have seen this a million times
4. The Big Lebowski - Another great Coen Brother's film

Four Places I Have Lived
1. St. Thomas, PA
2. Reisterstown, MD
3. Chambersburg, PA
4. Westminster, MD

Four TV Shows I Love
1. Homicide
2. Law & Order
3. Sopranos
4. Miami Vice
5. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
I really don't watch that much TV now, so most of these shows, I have liked in the past.

Four Places I Have Vacationed
1. Freeport, Grand Bahama Island - Okay, but probably would vist another island, if I went back.
2. Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada - Beautiful, driving up the Niagara Parkway is awesome
3. Punta Cana, Dominican Republic - Beautiful water and warm, capitol city, Santa Domingo is wonderful
4. South Florida (Miami, The Keys, The Dry Tortugas, The Everglades)- The bomb!!

Four of my Favorite Dishes
1. Mexican Food (Hard to choose a favorite)
2. Yellow Tail Rolls - Sushi
3. Provolone Cheese Sub
4. Vegetarian Egg Rolls
By the way, never ask pregant woman for her favorite foods.

Four Sites I Visit Daily
1. Volcano Live - I love volcanos!
2. Eagle Cam - right now the babies are fluffly and will probably leave the nest in the next 3-4 weeks. It is cool to think about the fact that this next is probably four feet across.
3. National Hurricane Center - I am a total weather geek. I check this during Hurricane Season and NOAA the rest of the time
4. all of my blogs

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1. Snorkeling in the Carribbean
2. Talking with my Grandmother.
3. Watching Sophia play.
4. Taking a nap

Four People I Am Tagging (only got 3)
1. Metal Mark
2. Christy TN
3. Bob

Tag you guys are it!!!

Me...

2006-04-06T16:21:00.000-04:00

Sorry for my absence, but I actually do have some pretty good excuses.

First, yesterday was my 36th birthday. I am now officially closer to 40 than I am to 30. I thought it would be harder than it was since each year my birthday seems to be a major downer. Thankfully, I have some friends and family who treated me really nice and so I have been celebrating.

Second, I just found out last week that we are going to have another baby. I have been feeling kind of yucky, so I have been sleeping a good bit. It is still very early, but we are excited and I actually think Sophia is, too! We told my in-laws the other night and they were so happy, because they had gotten to the point that they thought Sophia was going to be their only grandchild. This is it though, I am getting too old for this pregnancy stuff. Besides any more than two and there will be not college funds.

So be happy for me, because for a change, I am happy for me.

So there is just a short update on me. I hope that you all are well.

Take it easy!

Baltimore...

2006-03-30T08:26:00.000-05:00

I went to to pick up my neighbors at BWI Airport yesterday. They had taken their kids to Disney World. They were due to arrive by Southwest at 3:50 pm. I knew the flight number, so I checked the flight info before I left to pick them up. I also had SW send text messages to my cell phone with flight info. At 3:22, I got a message saying that the flight was still on time. So I get to the airport five minutes early and rather than parking, I looped around the airport waiting for them to arrive. I drove around for about 30 minutes and they still did not arrive, so I called Bob at work and had him check the flight. According to SW their flight was delayed and would not get in until 5:25, so I had to pee, so I parked and walked in for a pee, a newspaper and a water. I sat in the parking garage for a little while (the first hour of parking is free) so at the time the flight was supposed to arrive, I decided to loop the airport again and when I got to the terminal there sat my neighbors. They had been waiting for about 45 minutes. I was so mad. I felt bad that they had to sit there and smell all of the car and bus fumes waiting for me, espicially since this was not my fault. Their kids were tired and probably hungry, but they did great and crashed on the way home.

I love going to the airport, usually, but yesterday was different. I love the excitement of the airport. Before such tight airport security, I loved to drop somebody off and actually wait with them until they boarded. It always makes me feel like I have to go someplace. Sometimes, this occurs just because of Spring, but yesterday, it was because of the energy at the airport.

When I was looping the airport, I would see people waiting for rides and I wondered where they had been. I saw a whole group of very sun tanned people and they were by the Air Jamaica terminal, so I supposed they they had been to Jamaica (mmm, lucky them). I could stand to be in a location with some blue water and warm sun about now.

So last night, I stopped by the library and checked out the movies they had. They had one of my favorite television shows of all time on DVD. I loved the show Homicide and being from Maryland, I always liked to see the places in the background of the show. The very first episode had pictures of the park right across the street from where Bob and I were married. Anyway, I am sitting here this morning watching my fourth episode since last night. God,I loved this show!

Anyway, I have blabbed too much this morning.

I hope that you have a great day!!!

PS...

2006-03-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention something neat that happened last night. After Vinny's failure and dinner, we went to pick up Sophia at Bob's parents. We visited for a bit and Sophia went into the kitchen to finish a snack that she had started earlier. Bob went in to see what she was up to and she was happily saying, "Hi squirrel." Bob thought nothing of this since we call Bob's parent's one cat, Clementine, Squirrel (she has a really fluffy tail). But upon looking at what Sophia was seeing, he looked out the window and there sat a raccoon looking right back at them. The raccoon and Sophia were having a conversation. He would leave and then come back to the window so that we all could get a look. He was really cool creature to see.

In all of the years of going to Bob's parent's house (over 16 years now), I have never seen a raccoon there. Sophia loved it and when we got home, I got on the internet and showed her some other pictures of raccoons and also let her hear the sounds they make. What an awesome little nature lesson.

By the way, just in case you have not noticed, I am in the process of updating this page. I need some help getting my links back, so be patient.

By the way, if you like to cook check out Culinary in the Desert. I will link there once I get things sorted out.

Have a wonderful day.

bad...

2006-03-24T06:18:00.000-05:00

Is it possible that both my child and my dog are just plain bad? In reality I know that neither is the case, but with the current state of affairs at my house I have to wonder.

Sophia has been very bratty all week and unwilling to concentrate on any task that I give to her. I am hoping that this phase of the terrible twos will not last that long. She can be so sweet, but so nasty in the next second.

Vinny on the other hand has been fine at home, but I took him to the groomers to get his nails clipped and he growled and snapped at the groomer. We could not get a muzzle on him, so needless to say his nails stay untrimmed. He was so nervous that he took a big crap on the floor. I was so embarrassed.

Last night we took Vinny to his weekly obedience class. He started barking right from the moment that we walked into class. He kept barking as we started to do the lessons. We had been there for 10-15 minutes when the instructor walked outside with us for a talk. It was like having a parent-teacher conference, only this was about the dog. In the end, Vinny had to leave. Yup, you got it kicked out of obedience class. I told Bob he is going to have to wear a dunce cap!

So now here is what is going to happen. Starting next week, he will go for private lessons before his normal class starts and then he will spend about 5-10 minutes with the rest of the class. Each week, we will decrease his private lesson and increase the time he spends in the class with the other dogs. The instructor just feels that he is so nervous about the other dogs that he may get upset with us for taking him there. It turns out to be okay, because she is not going to charge us any additional money and give us private lessons.

After Vinny's expulsion, we took him home and since Sophia was at Grammy and Grandpa's house, we went out for a bite to eat. It was a nice break for me, since I cook dinner most nights. We then went to pick up Sophia and wouldn't you know that she was a perfect angel for her grandparents. So Sophia was good as gold, unlike she is for us and Vinny got expelled. What a night for my two kids. Being a dog or kid parent can be exhausting.

I hope your day today goes better than mine did yesterday...

Uhhh...

2006-03-21T03:20:00.000-05:00

So here is it 3:15am and I am awake. I went to bed early, which has been the norm for the last week (I am just so damn tired). I woke up at 2:30 to take a pee and I could not sleep, so I decided 45 minutes later that I might as well get up for a bit. I was going to watch TV, but the stinking remote is not turning on the TV and I am just to lazy to get up to turn it on.

The remote really makes me mad sometimes. It is one of those kind that you can program to do everything. This is great, however for no reason sometimes it just stops doing what it is supposed to do. Then if you wait an hour or so, it might work. I don't understand why this happens. When it is working it is wonderful, when it is not, it sucks.

I had sat down on Saturday morning and wrote a nice long post for my blog and wouldn't you know that when I was previewing it something either went wrong with my computer or with Blogger and I lost the entire post. I was too pissed to go back and start over, so I waited a few days to attempt again. God I hope it works this time. The thing that blows about this is that I can not remember what I was posting about. (Must have been really important!)

Vinny continues to do well with his training. He learned three commands in class and is still doing them on a regular basis. We have seen a big improvement in his behavior since going to the class. Maybe he just needed to be challenged. He still kicks it up and runs around in circles sometimes, but he is doing much better. He got really barky in class, because of the other dogs. I can't wait to see how he does around them this week. I am hoping that this will also get better week by week.

So I guess today is the first day of spring or at least it is close to the first day. Wouldn't you know we are only going to have a high of 34 degrees and a likelihood of snow and sleet. This would be okay if I was not driving my neighbors to the airport today. They are leaving for Florida (lucky) to be in the sunshine. I can only hope that from here on out it gets warmer. I have seen a few daffodils in bloom. This always makes me happy, because it is a signal to me to celebrate the arrival of spring and warmer days.

I wish that I had something more interesting to post, but I feel about as dull as a broken pencil point right now. Maybe it is the not being able to sleep thing. I don't know. I guess life is like that sometimes. I have been feeling sort of blah for the last week or so. I have no desire to do the things that I should do. My house, as usual, is a mess. I don't mean this in the way that most people do. You know what I mean, a few things out of place and the house is a mess. Mine is a literal mess. Toys and crap everyplace. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow. Even if I do, things will still be helter-skelter. This is the nature of our household. I feel bad about this sometimes, because it makes it hard for Sophia's friends to come over. I was raised to be very neat, but somewhere along the way, I lost the ability to be and stay neat. Is there some sort of slobs anonymizer out there??? If so, let me know and I will start attending meetings!

It is now 3:41 and I am wondering if I should attempt to go back to sleep. I really don't feel like walking up the steps only to come down in another half hour, because sleep is not on it's way. I hate when I can't sleep. I love to sleep. This drives Bob crazy. If he could do it consistently, he would only sleep about 4 hours a day. He thinks sleeping is a waste of time. I have never had issues sleeping before, but I have had a few episodes over the last week or two. I have always heard that when you can't sleep, you should get up and read or something and then try again later. I really hope this has helped. A sleepy Linda, is a bitchy Linda.

I hope that you are sleeping like a baby right now. Enjoy!!!

Perfect day...

2006-03-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a day to do nothing constructive. I could see the sun coming in through the bedroom windows (even though the blinds were drawn)even before I got out of bed. I knew that it was supposed to be warm, so I showered and dressed for a warm day. When Sophia finally woke up, I dressed her in a similar fashion.

I had a few errands to run, so I quickly got those out of the way and headed out for some play with Sophia. We stopped at a grocery store, picked up a picnic lunch and headed to the playground. As usual Sophia did not eat much and when we were both finished walked over to the playground. She had fun walking up and down the castle shaped playground equipment and after about 45 minutes was ready to go. I was hoping to stay a bit longer, but Sophia has a little cold and rather than have her get crazy, I decided to follow her wishes.

Once she was in her car seat, I decided that I would take the long way home. Sort of a mini road trip. She was happily watching a DVD and was pretty comfortable, so I put down the windows and took off. It was one of those days to feel the wind blowing through your hair. The sun was just so perfect, warm, but not too warm. I took some winding country roads home passing a lake and pointed out interesting things to Sophia. I love taking a drive to nowhere.

After I got home, Sophia took a nap, which also helped the day to be nice, since it gave me a break. Again, I did nothing, but relax. It was great.

After dinner, Bob took Sophia out to play with this huge styrofoam plane. Once outside, they were joined by two neighbor kids. I came out with Sophia's new bubble machine. I pulled the handle and watched bubbles fly out the front of it. The wind was whipping around so hard that the bubbles came out in a tornado like fashion and if you looked at the light through them it looked like sparks instead of bubbles. It started to get dark, so we decided to head in. It was a quiet way to end a wonderful day.

There is always one of those days shortly before or after the start of spring that are just so perfect that you wish they would last forever. No responsibilities, no dishes to wash, no bills to pay, just a time to have fun. It makes me think of when I was younger. You remember it, when you pile some friends into a car and just go for a drive, no particular place to go, but plenty of adventure to be found. These days, there is not as much adventure, but there is always the promise of it. As Sophia gets older I want her to have the same wanderlust about what there is to be found on an early spring day.

On the next nice day, you get out there and find your adventure...

Deconstruction...

2006-03-09T08:27:00.000-05:00

We have lived in our house for 12 1/2 years. We have no space, but really don't want to move, so I think we are going to start to update our current house instead. We both hate spending money on this kind of stuff, but deep down inside we know that it is necessary.

So Bob (and me a little bit) started ripping apart our current basement. We had this really cool bar, but as time has moved on, we need the space for Sophia. I will be so glad to get all of her toys out of my living room and into an area just for her. The bar was so well built that it is going to take a circular saw and a crow bar to get it apart. We were sort of sorry to see it go, but all things change.

Other than that there is really nothing new going on right now, so I really don't have much to talk about. Right now I am watching Sophia eating a bowl of Fruit Loops watching TV. She has given up on the spoon and has decided that it would be better to eat with her hands. This makes for a messy table and a messy kid. YUCK! Oh well, I could be sitting at a desk right now frustrated with my boss or co-workers, so I have no complaints.

Well I am off to do some laundry. By the way if you have any carpentry skills, give me a yell, I might need you.

Have a great day!!!

Vinny...

2006-03-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to give you and update on Vinny. He seems to be improving. As I got ready to write this, he was sitting his head on my lap for a scratch. He still has a long was to go, but then so do I.

He has really evolved into quite the bed sleeper and I have to fight him for space most nights. Between him, Bob and the three cats, there are some nights that I feel like I only get a small section of the bed, not to mention just the corner of a sheet. Oh well, it is worth it.

I am also glad to report that he has not bit me for at least a week now. I know that he will stop this once he has some training. Well at least I hope he does.

Eventually, I will post a picture of him for you guys to see. He is a pretty neat dog.

Take care!!!!

Two years and counting...

2006-03-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

It is that time of year again, when I just wish that spring would get here. I am so tired of being in the house. Besides, I think that Sophia would greatly benefit from a good deal of time being spent outdoors. Kids, like flowers, need sunshine.

Sophia is a very hyper kid. I don't mean this is the way that all two year olds are hyper, but in the way that makes me concerned for her. She does not want to sit still and never concentrates on anything. Plus, other moms have commented about how active she is (some of these mom's have their own two year olds). That being said, I think she is extremely smart, so I would not trade her intelligence for a non-active kid.

Sometimes she can be totally sweet. The other day, we sat in front of the TV and watched the DVD of the days leading up to and including the day she was born. I was in labor for more than two days before finally having a c-section and there was a good deal of waiting going on. I explained what was happening on the DVD and that we were waiting and waiting for her to come out. Finally, we get to the part where she was born. Sophia really watched this part (the DVD Sophia was screaming her head off) almost like she was thinking. Then she turned to me and said, "I love you, Mommy." I almost cried, it was like she was thinking about the sacrifices I had made for her. Maybe she did and maybe she didn't, but what she said warmed my heart.

Two year olds are so hard to figure out. One minute they are going fifty miles an hour, screaming, biting, kicking, etc. and the next minute they are snuggling into you and needing love. You never know which two year old you are going to get. I guess that is what makes parenting so difficult. I would live six days out of the week with a rotten two year old, just to get one day of that loving two year old. That love is the best thing that I have ever had in my life.

Oh for the love of a child!!

Hired help...

2006-02-20T09:05:00.000-05:00

Anybody who knows me personally, would probably agree that I am not really a confrontational person, but yesterday, I felt like I could be...

Sophia had to attend a birthday party for one of her playmates. Since I am very friendly with the mom, I told her that I would keep an eye on her younger child so that she could greet additional guests. Keep in mind that this party had those blow-up items for kids to jump on. Bob was watching Sophia and I was watching my friends little girl. I got on one of the things to make sure that both kids were okay, when another mom walks up to me and asks me to watch her kid on this jumpy thing. I told her "no," because I was keeping an eye on two kids at the time.

The real problem with this was that I would have responded the same if I only had one child with me. This mom just did not want to get in there and play with her kid, because she did not want to take off the boots she was wearing, besides I know her and she just really does not enjoy her kid. She never dresses appropriately and then wants people to do stuff with her kid, because her clothes will not allow her to participate.

Apparently, she got really upset went to the mother of the birthday child and was really pissed that I did not watch her kid. Thankfully, my friend told her that I had my hands full with two kids already.

I totally felt like hired help. Why would this person think that I should take care of her kid, when I should take care of my own kid. Besides she should stop dressing like she is going out for a night on the town(trashy) and be prepared to play. I was mad all evening and am still a bit peeved today.

I guess I don't understand why people have kids if they don't want to do things with them.

I think I might actually feel better after this rant, THANKS!!!

Valentines and stuff...

2006-02-16T23:53:00.000-05:00

Well this week was Valentines Day. For the most part, I think Valentines Day is a bunch of crap, but it is nice to be remembered. Bob and have never been one of those couples that spends a huge amount of money on gifts for Valentines Day. Honestly, I think if you love somebody you should show it every day and not wait for a specific day to do good things for them.

We decided to go the National Aquarium with Sophia for Valentine's Day. We had a great day and most importantly Sophia loved it. She was excited from the moment we walked in the door. It is expensive to get in (21.95 for adults), but it really is nice. There is a new Australian exhibit was really cool. Sophia loved the birds in that area, but told us that the sharks were her favorite things.

Our new dog, Vinny, got out of his leash yesterday and ran all over the neighborhood for over an hour and would not let me catch him. I was pissed, but I think he was more pissed when I tried to get his leash back on him, because he bit me and bit me hard. I was so tired and mad by this point that I was ready to just let him run away. Thankfully, Vinny followed one of our neighborhood kids and I was able to catch him. He was not wanting to come in the house. I am just hoping that he will get better after obedience classes, which don't start until March 2nd.

I have been trying to get Sophia potty trained. She is totally resisting it. I can not understand why, but everything I have read says to not force it, that they will learn when they are ready. I certainly don't want her to be traumatized give her some sort of horrible problem for the future. It is so hard to know what to do, but I do know that am tired of changing diapers. But for now, I will just let do things at her own pace.

Well that is about it for me. If you have somebody that you love, do something nice for them. Remember it doesn't have to cost money. Sometimes, the best things in life are free.

Love to you...

Pets...

2006-01-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

If you have ever had a pet than you know how much they mean to you. We have been lucky to have the ones that we do, even though they sometimes have had some bad habits. Before Bob and I were even married we had a dog, Katie. She was rescued from the pound in January of 1990. She has truly been a member of our family for a long time. On January 11 she became so sick that we had to make the unhappy decision to have her put to sleep. It was a hard decision, but one that had to be made. We had to make that same decision for our German Shepard, Siggy, two years ago.

Towards then end of her life, Katie could barely walk and was probably deaf. Just about every morning Bob carried her out to the bathroom. He would have continued to do this indefinitely if he had to, because Katie was his best friend. I think he took her death much harder than I did, because I had a feeling that the end was near for her. I prayed that she would not die on his birthday and mericifully, she waited two days. She would have done anything for Bob, because he was her best friend, too.

We have always loved having pets and after Siggy died probably would have got another dog, but I truly felt that because Katie was over 13 years old at the time, it would not have been fair. She probably would have been fine, but I thought she should have some peace in her old age.

After she died, we wanted to get a new dog right away. We had the space in our home and hearts for a new friend. So I started to look online and eventually went to the Baltimore County Humane Society. I found a really neat dog there and unfortunately, he had a family that was coming back for him on the weekend. So on a friends suggestion, I went to the kennel where I used to board Siggy, to look at some hurricane Katrina puppies. By this point, I was fed up with the whole resue process. You have to wait at least a week at times, while they check vet references and personal references and in some cases do a home inspection. The problem with this seems to be that they have all of this red tape and make it hard to adopt a pet. After speaking to somebody who boards rescue animals, I was left with the impression that some rescue groups board the animals, but never find homes for them. This is truly annoying. Thankfully, the owner of the kennel remebered my dog Siggy and suggested that I call somebody regarding a dog that needed a home. I called that day and had the dog that evening.

Then comes Vinny...

Vinny is just over a year old and is a weird mix of German Shepard, Great Dane and Saint Bernard. He is not as big as you would think. Just like the other dogs we used to have, he has some annoying habits. He barks a good bit and is a chewer. These habits make him a bit hard to deal with (Sorry Amanda), but I think with proper training, he will become a much better dog. I have contacted a trainer and he will start obedience classes on March 2nd. I will keep you guys posted on his progress.

Having a pet is never easy, but honestly, the work that it takes is truly rewarded by a very good friend.

Sleep...

2006-01-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

Once you have a child, your sleep is never the same again. Actually, this starts before the baby is born, for the mother. During the last month of my pregnancy, I was up at least four times a night to go to the bathroom and then when I did lay down, I could not get comfortable enough to sleep. Honestly, this is the way that your body gets ready for the long nights that lay ahead.

Once Sophia was at home, she was up just about every two hours to eat. She also was a bit colicky and had to be held to fall asleep for the first six months of her life and still continued to wake up at night to eat.

Now that Sophia is two, I thought that stage of things would have ended, however, I am still up at least once a night. Right now she is getting two-year molars and is very unhappy. I have been giving her motrin to help and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. She will wake up and want only me and then I will crawl into bed with her half asleep. Once in bed with her, the sleep challenge does not go away, because anybody who has ever slept with a toddler will tell you that they toss and turn and so you still don't get sleep.

Sleep has become very strange for me. I used to be able to sleep for eight to nine hours straight and sleep so soundly that not even a phone would wake me up, but now, I am up all night and feel unrested in the morning. I have to say that this sucks. Thankfully, sometimes Bob helps, but I try not to depend on him, since he has to work, but it is great when I can actually sleep while Sophia is being tended to. No sleep makes Linda a cranky girl.

For all of you parents and about to be parents, my thoughts are with you. I know your pain.

Here is hoping that you all get a good nights rest.

I'm back, well sort of...

2006-01-03T18:17:00.000-05:00

It has been so long since I have posted that I am sure anybody who ever glanced at this blog has forgotten about it, but just in case, here is a little update.

Halloween was great and before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving and now Christmas and New Year have also passed.

Life has been treating me very well. One of my best friends from childhood got married in November. It was fun to get all dressed up. I have not done that in years and besides being in somebody's wedding there really is no reason to do so. I had lost 18 pounds for the occasion and am sad to say that I have since gained it all back. Damn holidays.

Sophia had a wonderful Christmas. She is such a lucky kid. Santa visited not only her house, but her grandparents house as well. I have toys all over the place, but I am so glad for her. When I look back at my own childhood, I did not have as much and I want her to have what I could not, so as for the material things that childhood needs to have, we are succeeding.

It was great to watch her get excited before Christmas. She had no fear of Santa.When you think about Santa, he is sort of bizarre, so it is no wonder that kids are scared of him. She liked the idea of giving out presents, so hopefully the spirit of giving to others will be instilled in her during this early part of her life.

She got this really cool Barbie motorized Jeep for Christmas. At first she did not like it, but after driving it the other day, I think she has changed her mind. She was a bit scared when she got in the first time, because she thought it was "too fast." Come spring time, I don't think we will be able to keep up with her. I know one thing is for sure, I would have killed for something so neat when I was a kid.

As for New Years, ours was great. We went to Sophia's godparent's house. Thankfully, Bob's parents watched her overnight so Bob and I could stay out. We never got home until after 5:30am. It was a welcomed break and I have to admit a really awesome time.

I hope that you all will have a wonderful new year.

Time goes by...

2005-10-06T23:40:00.000-04:00

I have had a half written post for several weeks, but never managed to finish it. So now that time has moved on, I have to start over.

September was a really busy month. First we had Sophia's 2nd birthday party, which was a great deal of fun. I have to say that she has some of the nicest little friends. We had a moon bounce and it was fun watching all the kids play (it was even more fun watching her father and godfather making asses of themselves after the kids all left for the day). After seeing how nice Sophia was treated by all of her friends and relatives, I know that she and we are truly blessed.

We also went to the Maryland Wine Festival, which for me is a must every year (except for two years ago when I was in labor with Sophia). It was a really beautiful day. We saw some people that we get to see each year (KH, Otter, and Hippy) which is always a plus and makes the time and the wine even better.

Now that October is here I am so swamped with crap and even though I don't work, it seems like I do. In the midst of everything, I will have to go through Sophia's room and get ready to move her out of her crib. It is another one of those things that just makes me realize that she is no longer a baby. The thought of putting her crib and changing table into storage makes me feel like crying. I hate to be such a whiner about it, but it not only makes me think of her getting older, but also myself (getting old freaks me out). Since she was born the time seems to move faster and faster and in some ways it makes things seem like they are out of control. I hate that feeling. I am not a control freak or anything, but I just want time to stand still just for a bit longer, so that I can enjoy this last little bit of Sophia's babyhood with her. I know that not too many years down the road she will no longer want to play with Mommy and will rush out the door to be with her friends. I am sure that every mom has felt this way at one time or another.

It seems like the whole world is in a rush. I have already seen Christmas items being pushed at the local Walmart. Damn it, I just get over Sophia's birthday and now I have to get ready for Christmas and it isn't even Halloween yet.

Speaking of Halloween, Sophia is going to be Minnie Mouse. This will be the first year that she will be able to say "Trick or Treat" by herself. It will be interesting to see if she actually does. Hopefully, I can post some pictures of Sophia in her costume (even though I still owe pictures from Sophia's birthday).

I am sorry for the long time between posts. I sometimes am too tired to post and sometimes just too lazy. Hopefully, I can get back in the swing of things. No promises though!!!

Have a wonderful evening...

I'm back...

2005-09-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

Okay Otter, here is your post.

When I last wrote we were getting ready for our annual summer party. Despite rain and a few no shows, it was a nice low-key and fun affair. The food was great and the beers weren't bad either. We always ask our quests to bring school supplies for needy kids and we were able to collect a very large box, which was fantastic.

I went to the beach for another week. It was a nice week to go, because Maryland schools are back in session, so the crowds were mostly gone. It was nice not to have to deal with huge throngs of people on the boardwalk (Bob would differ with me on this subject). As I get older, I hate dealing with teenagers. Well, what I really hate are the kids that I would have hated in high school. They all look the same and seem to be more rude than the nerdy kids who are down there. Maybe I am wrong. I never went down when I was in high school. I never had the money and I would have never had permission to do so. Maybe in some way I am jealous of those kids.

Sophia of course had fun every day. She ate ice cream and cotton candy and rode rides every night (except for two) and played until she was so tired, I was surprised to see her awake when we got back to where we were staying. Sophia is not one of those kids who will sleep anywhere. Even when she was a small baby, I would have to turn down the lights and keep things quiet, because she would just get so overstimulated and not sleep. I think as long as there is something to check out she will not go to sleep. Everybody says that this is a sign of intelligence. I hope that this is the case and that it is not a sign of hyperactivity. I think Bob and I both would have been considered to have ADHD when we were kids, so I think our Sophia may be in the same boat. I see many trips to the school for visits with teachers and principals in our futures.

I was a kid who never did homework and somehow still managed to get B's in middle and high school. I would get demerits in middle school for not completing my work, but it never really mattered. I hated doing my homework and worse yet, I hated taking those books home. And why should I have done my work, if I could pass without it. High school was even worse. I guess I am lucky that way. What do I say to Sophia if she is the same way? Is there a way to get a kid to work? I have a feeling that we are going to find out.

This weekend we are celebrating Sophia's second birthday, even though her birthday is not until the 21st. I am anxious to see her play with her friends. She is such a social kid. When I took her to the park today I noticed that she has no problem walking up to any kid and saying hello. This makes me incredibly happy, because I was afraid that with my staying at home with her, she would be clingy and shy, but it seems that I must be doing something right, because she is quite the opposite. I think it is very important for kids to be socialized and play with kids of all ages. Sophia has a regular group of kids that she plays with that range in age from 18 months up to 12 years. It is great to watch the big ones look out for the little ones. I also think that it is important for kids to get outside to play each day, no matter what the weather is. Kids need sun and fresh air to grow. I think it keeps them strong and healthy.

On a personal note, I have started Weight Watchers again. I hate it, but know that it is a necessary thing. So for those of you who may have personal contact with me, don't take it personal if I am grouchy for a few weeks. I have quit smoking in the past, but I think changing eating habits is much worse. I have done WW before and have been successful. Please send some positive vibes in my direction.

I will have to put up some photos from Sophia's party next week.

Have a great weekend!!!

Hiatus...

2005-08-24T15:56:00.000-04:00

I have been on a posting hiatus. I wish I could say that I was on some really cool sabbatical in a far away place, but that is not the case. I have just been laying low here in Maryland.

As usual, nothing has really been going on. I went out with my favorite Aunt for her birthday and had a few beers and some much needed time away from home, Bob and Sophia. No matter how much you love your husband and kids, it is healthy to get away from them once in awhile. I think that being away from them makes you realize how great they really are.

Sophia is getting ready to turn two, so we are in full birthday party planning mode. We are hoping to swim and are renting a Moon Bounce. I can't wait to play in the Moon Bounce. I have always wanted to rent one. I will let you know how it is. I think we will have to have some "Adult Bounce" time just like they have "Adult Swims" at the public swimming pools. I used to think "Adult Swims" were dumb, but now I can appreciate them.

We are having our annual party this weekend. I am hoping that the weather will stay nice. I hate getting ready and cleaning up, but I usually have fun (some times too much fun, as in the case of last years party). I promise to behave myself this year and I will absolutely not be drinking a huge bottle of French wine. I learned my lesson last year!!!

I am going to the beach again next week. Hopefully, there will be no storms coming up the coast. If they do, I will just look at it as a learning experience. As I have said before, I love the weather. If you check out www.nhc.noaa.gov, it shows current tropical storms for the Atlantic and pacific. It is pretty awesome. I look every day to see if a new storm has popped up. There are some really cool satellite images to check out.

Well I am off for now. Sorry for the long time between posts. Enjoy what is left of your summer!

Vacation, Sophia, Harry Potter....

2005-08-03T08:34:00.000-04:00

We just got back from a week at the beach. It was a nice break from the usual. The weather was so hot that I even got into the ocean. This is something that I rarely do at the Maryland seashore. Give me the clear waters of the Caribbean or South Florida and I am more than willing to get in. I like to be able to see what is swimming with me, if you know what I mean.

We sat on the beach most days and visited the boardwalk several nights. Sophia of course loved every minute of this. She played so hard that most nights she was too overtired to go to sleep. She loved playing in the sand on the beach had a ball jumping the waves as they came in. She ate cotton candy and ice cream, played games in the arcade and rode several rides during each visit to the boardwalk. All of this made me think about what she was like last year. During our trips last year, she was not even walking and the only ride she could go on was the Merry-Go-Round, because we could hold her. She is definitely a little girl now and to me she finally is starting to resemble one.

On our first night home, she figured out how to climb out of her crib, so now we are in the process of hunting for a new bed for her. We will also have to change the decor a little bit, so I started looking for new wallborder for her room and during my visit to the wallpaper section at Lowe's I got a little weepy, because I came across the border that is currently in her room and it made me sad to think that she is not a baby any more. She will continue to grow and I will learn how to deal with it, such is life.

During our trip, my main goal (besides having fun with Sophia and Bob) was to read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

(Spoilers ahead if you are interested)

I had read prior to reading the book that there was going to be major set up for the last book and that was totally the case, because the end of the book definitely left you hanging. I am not sure if I like Snape going bad, but I still think that there could be some change from him in the next book. I think that the bond he took with Draco's mother may have something to do with his current behavior. I always liked the way that Snape appeared bad, but really wasn't, so I am hoping for a change. He may up being Harry's person in the know (sort of like Dumbledore had always been).

I can totally see the way she is shaping Harry's character into an adult. He is making more decisions for himself and now is looking to the future and the ultimate end of the story. I feel bad for him in many ways. He gets close to somebody and they die and in this book he finally gets with the girl of his dreams only to let her go, because he fears for her safety. I am not sure if I like the idea of his leaving Hogwart's for the next book, but I think it will make for an even darker arena for him to battle the darker side of wizardry. As a writer she will have a much wider canvas to paint her story.

I was sad to see Dumbledore die, but as Harry's days at Hogwart's are over, he is no longer going to be an integral part to the story. I think that Hagrid will have a very small role in the next book, unless he decides that he will leave to be with Harry.

I am up for discussion on this. I may need to go back and review the book for a proper discussion. I know that I have missed some major stuff, but would gladly like to have them brought to my attention, so type away.

Have a great day!

Fun, pet peeve and humidity...

2005-07-18T14:44:00.000-04:00

I bought the new Harry Potter book on Saturday. I can't wait to read it. I am forcing myself to wait to read it until I leave for vacation on Friday. It is pure torture to wait. Knowing my luck, I will end up leaving it at home, when I leave for vacation.

Bob and I went to a party at Otter and KH's house on Saturday night. It was just great to kick back, listen to music and talk. It was a very welcomed break. We did not get home until after 4:00am and I was beat, but it was totally worth it. Thanks guys!!!

I had some running around to do today and during my travels, I came across one of my major pet peeves with other parents. Just for some background, I am very peticular about the way Sophia looks when we go out. I try to make sure that she and her clothes are clean and that her hair is somewhat in order. This has become much harder since she has gotten older, but I still try to do the best I can. Even if I look like crap, she usually looks very good (not hard for me to look crappy on most days). Now to the thing that bothers me...Sophia and I were getting ready to leave the store when a woman walks in with her child. This child has nothing on, but a diaper. Since this child was similar in age to Sophia, I know that it can't be that hard to get him ready (although, it might be a bit trying). I also saw two women pushing their babies down the street, these children were also in just a diaper. Now maybe, I am being judgmental with these moms, but I feel that if I can get myself dressed, then I can get my child dressed. It usually only takes a few minutes. To me it just seems lazy. Sophia would prefer to run around naked all the time, but she doesn't, because I make sure that she is dressed. Maybe I am just crazy.

I don't know about you guys, but I hate humidity and living here in the great state of Maryland, you are almost always dealing with it. Every time I have been outside for the last several days, my clothes and hair stick to my back. YUCK! I think that I could shower five times a day and still feel gross. I am not a hot weather person, so I dread this time of year. Other than going on vacations and swimming, I can't wait for fall to get here.

Well, I have complained enough for one day. I hope you are all well and happy and having a wonderful day!!!

Keep cool!

Carnival...

2005-07-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

Well Sophia's eye was at least half swollen shut today. According to the pediatrician, this is very normal. She looked pretty horrible today. Bob kept referring to her as Clubber Lang (Mr. T's character in Rocky III, never saw the movie). She definitely looks like she has been in a fight.

We decided to take Sophia to the local carnival this evening. We had taken her earlier in the week, but it had rained, so we were hoping to take her again. She had a ball. We actually let her get on a few rides by herself. This made me a bit nervous, but we had to let her do it some time. A few times cried when we took her off of a ride. One lady asked me how old she was and after my answer she said that Sophia was very brave for somebody so young. That made me feel great. There is nothing better than getting a compliment on your child. She ate like I have not seen her eat in a long time. She started out with a few french fries, then had some cotton candy (very, very sticky, but she loved it) and ended with an entire piece of pizza. By the time she was on her final ride (thankfully Bob was with her), she was in tears, because she was completely exhausted. Right now she is in her bedroom fighting sleep, hopefully, she will drift off soon.

It is interesting to watch Sophia grow up. Sometimes, you sit back and are amazed by how she is changing and how much different she is than when she was born. While, I do love to watch her try new things, it makes me a bit sad, because after she does something she can never do that particular thing for the first time again. It is sort of like she has a checklist for life and she is busy putting checks in the boxes and never looking back. At times, I miss that little baby who for the first six months of her life, fell asleep on my shoulder every night. I know that it is important for her to do all of these firsts in life, but I guess I never thought about how they would affect me. All the same, I am glad that she enjoys life and thrives. I can not describe how her beautiful little smile brings me some of the greatest joy in my entire life. It is hard for me to think this, but there are parents out there who never really appreciate the simple things about their kids. They don't know what they are missing.

Have a great night!

Emergency...

2005-07-08T22:34:00.000-04:00

Today was a day that every parent regrets! It was Sophia's first trip to the emergency room. She fell and cut her left eyelid. It all happened so quick we were not even quite sure what happened. She also has cuts above her left eye and below her right eye, so for a few days she will look like she had been in a boxing match.

I will hate the looks that we will get over the next week or so until she heals. People are thinking one of two things; abusive parents or parents who were not paying attention. Even though, neither is the case you still feel guilty and are extremely annoyed that anybody would dare to think you a horrible parent. Oh well, what can you do? People will think what they will.

Thankfully, it was a superficial wound and will heal rather quickly. They would have put some kind of glue on it to hold the cut together, but the skin on the wound had already started to die. We are just hoping that she will not scar.

As I said, every parent regrets this, so I guess I should be relieved that my first trip to the emergency room is over. I can breath a sigh of relief that it was not more serious and say a small prayer that it will never happen again.

2005-07-04T23:23:00.000-04:00

It seems that since Sophia is more active this year we spend more time outside than we ever have. We go out and play in the pool and her playhouse during the day and at night we go out under the stars and look at lightning bugs (sometimes bats) and walk around. Having Sophia around has made me remember what it was like when I was a kid. I remember being out just when it got dark collecting lightning bugs and placing them in mason jars with holes in the top so that the bugs could breath.

This weekend was a great weekend. We had to go to a family party yesterday and there is always a certain amount of stress with that, but Sophia made me forget all about the trivial family stuff that I normally deal with. She had a ball watching other kids and dancing. She walked right up to these ladies and started dancing with them. It was so funny and she was a big hit.

Today we had to go visit a friend who had lost his mother on Friday. It was sad to think about his mother being gone as we had been to her house for a couple of 4th of July parties. When I think of her I smile. She never judged us for the things we did and I think that in some ways she may have wanted to join in.

After leaving our friends we went to Bob's parents the rest of the day and hung out with them and Sophia's godparents. We ate some awesome food, swam and then when it was dark, lit off some fireworks. Of course the mosquitoes were in full swing, but a little "Off" spray took care of that. To quote Sophia's Godfather, "Ah the smell of summer; deet and sulfur." I couldn't have said it any better.

When we were done with the fireworks, we stood for a few seconds and watched the lightning bugs. I don't think that they will ever stop fascinating me and when they do, it may be time for me to check out. I think that they will always make me think of childhood. I hope that one day Sophia will be standing in the same place that I was tonight thinking the same thing. I hope that she will always remember her childhood with happy thoughts.

Happy 4th of July!!! Peace to you Miss Jeanne!!!!!

Happy Days...

2005-06-30T16:39:00.000-04:00

I had a few minutes to myself this morning before Sophia woke up. I decided to watch a bit of TV while eating a bowl of cereal. I was flipping through the channels and happened upon "TV Land" playing an episode of "Happy Days." When I was younger I really seemed to enjoy this show, but when I watch it now I have to think about how cheesy of a show it really was.

That leads me to one of my pet peeves about the show and it's spinoff "Joanie Loves Chachi." In the episode I watched today, Joanie was deciding to move back home and leave Chachi in Chicago. First of all, I never could understand what Chachi ever saw in Joanie. I thought she was a dog then and still do. If I were him, I would have said, "see ya later, there are better fish in the sea." Did the directors of the show think that people were so clueless as to think that somebody like Chachi would ever have a thing for a Joanie type? I don't know.

YUCK!

Bad...

2005-06-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

I am one of those parents that gets really embarrassed by my child being bad any place in public. While I know that kids will be kids, I find it completely unacceptable when a parent shows that they are in no way going to try to make their kid behave.

I like my neighbor across the street and Sophia loves her kids especially the oldest one. They stopped by today and asked Sophia and I to go to lunch with them. This was fine, because Sophia had not seen the kids in a few weeks. So we went to our local Pizza Hut and the waitress sat us in a corner booth. I had Sophia secured in a high chair, the youngest of my neighbors kids was also in a high chair and the oldest was seated between her mother and myself. The first thing that I thought was inappropriate was that the oldest child removed her shorts that were on top of her swimsuit. She did this after she was told by her mother not to. Then she proceeds to climb up on this platform that is in the corner behind the booth we are sitting in. Her mother's phone rang (another thing I never do is answer a phone in a restaurant)and as soon as she saw that her mom was having a conversation she started to ask me for things that her mother had already vetoed. I was amazed at the way the mom was able to ignore every one of the things that this kid had done. I would have been horrified and walked out after discreetly paying my bill.

Towards the end of lunch Sophia started doing this thing where she lets out very shrill short bursts of screaming. I immediately started to cover her mouth and when she really did not want to let up, I decided it was time to go. I use this same practice in a store and even in church sometimes.

Maybe I am a stickler, maybe I should relax a bit, but I have to think that nobody in the restaurant wants to hear a loud child or see a child misbehaving and not being corrected. I am not sure. I just never want to have the feeling that others are thinking that I have no control over my kid or that my kid is spoiled brat.

Maybe I am getting old, but it seems to me that kids today have more than kids of my generation ever had and with that also comes a lack of any kind of discipline. And I am not talking about beating kids, I am talking about letting your kid know what they have done is wrong and promptly removing them from the situation so that they have a chance to think about what they did and why it was wrong. Is our society so lax that future generations of children will be much worse than the ones today? I can only hope that there are other parents feeling like me that are looking for ways to improve the future for our kids.

Fathers...

2005-06-19T21:09:00.000-04:00

As I am sure you know today is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day if you are a father!

Today made me think about what it means to be a father. Until I met Bob I had very few examples of what a good father is. My birth father has never been present in my life, my first step-father was abusive and my second step-father was clueless about what it meant to be a father.

My Grandfather was a good man. He put up with crap from everybody. He always made time for me, for which I will be eternally grateful. He was a simple man, but gave of himself when he could. I have many wonderful memories of him. Bob's grandfather is also a great man. Even though he may disagree with you at times, he always seems willing to listen to your point of view. He enjoys his family and lights up when he sees any of his grandchildren including his great-grandchildren, like Sophia.

I would have to say that at this point in my life, Bob's father is the closest thing to a true father that I have ever had. I remember getting yelled at before Bob and I were married. He treated me no different than Bob and still doesn't to this day. He has given me fatherly advice when there was nobody else there to offer it. He has always been willing to lend a helping hand. Most of all, he has been a really terrific grandfather to Sophia. It is like he was waiting for her all of his life. It is to him that I offer up my best Father's Day wishes and thank him for being there.

Bob is also a wonderful father to Sophia. I hope that she knows how lucky she is. He works so that I can stay home to be with her, even though I know there are many days when he wishes I was the one working and he was the one staying home. I know that he will always be a great father. He has so much knowledge to share and I know that he will be glad when she has a thing or two to teach him. I love to watch him with her and am glad that he is her father.

So what does being a good father mean to me? First, a father is somebody who is there to share in the good times and the bad. He is there teach you right from wrong and to tell you about the world. He is there to listen and maybe learn a thing or two. A father treats you like you are special and that there is nobody else like you in the world. A father makes sacrifices. A good father is thankful for his family.

Thanks to those men who have what it takes to be a great father!!!

Play...

2005-06-16T14:15:00.000-04:00

I am never really ready to admit that Sophia is no longer a baby. I still call her baby when I talk to her. I guess just like all parents say about their children, she will always be my baby.

A sure sign of her maturing is the fact that two or three times now we have had the little girl across the street knock on the door and say, "Can Sophia come out to play?" It hard for me to think about her wanting to play on her own without me. I know that it is a natural thing to want to be away from your parents, but I am not sure if I am going to like it.

For now I can rely on the fact that this is a few years away (hopefully). For now I will just enjoy watching her interact with the neighborhood kids. Hopefully, she will be a good friend and playmate to those around her.

This past weekend we took Sophia on her first camping trip. We all had fun. She went hiking, climbed some small rocks and looked for crayfish in a stream with Bob. Other than the fact it was hot and humid, it was a weekend to remember. There is nothing better than waking up and hearing the birds sing and smelling a campfire. I can not wait to take her again.

Bob and I have been camping together since before we were married. The first time I went camping was with him. I am glad that we both enjoy it and am also glad to be sharing our experiences with Sophia. I hope that she will understand that the world is a beautiful place and that she knows that she is part steward in preserving such beauty.