day to day rambling...

Real and not always exciting adventures in life.

Location: Maryland
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Thursday, June 29, 2006

What a day...

Well as I have mentioned a few times, we leave for vacation tomorrow. Bob had some last minute stuff to finish up at work, so he had to be there at 4:00am this morning. Which left me to sleep in the whole bed (even though I had to share with the dog). At 5:45am I heard this loud thump coming out of Sophia's room, so I ran in and she had fallen off the bed. I could tell by the way that she was crying that she was hurt!! She was holding her arm and crying.

I talked to her pediatrician at 6:30am, he said to give her motrin and call into the office after 8:00am to make an appointment to come in. Thankfully, we were able to get in at 9:15. We got there a few minutes early and they were waiting for us. The doctor did not think that the arm was broken, but possibly had been dislocated and then relocated. To be safe he sent us for x-rays.

The x-rays were an ordeal. Bob's father came along to help, because I could not go in with her due to being pregnant. She cried and screamed. It was terrible. More than anything I think she was scared, poor kid. After the x-rays were done, they told me to go to the waiting room and wait to be called, because my doctor needed to give me the results. After about five to ten minutes they send me to a phone and my doctor is on the line. I was informed that Sophia had fractured her collar bone. Oh no, I thought and started to tear up. They also told me that this is one of the most painful fractures.

So we go back to the doctor's office and wait again, because Sophia has to be fitted for a strap to hold her shoulders back. They gave us her list of do's and don'ts, but did say that we can still go on vacation. Her activities will have to be limited, but at least she can still play on the beach and stuff.

I brought her home, gave her more motrin and laid her down. That was at 2:30. She has cried out in pain a few times. It is now 3:30 and she is still not asleep. I hope that she can get some rest. I know that it will help her.

So now I have to finish packing and worry about Sophia. I joked when she got her stitches a few weeks ago that this would not be the last trip to the emergency room, but I did not think it would be so soon. I am exhausted.

Anyway, I probably won't be posting as much. I still hope to get some of the tea pictures out there and if, not I will send out some beach photos.

Wish me luck...

PS Don't mind any grammaticial errors. I am too pooped to pop!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Rain rain go away...

It has been raining so much here that I feel the need to build an ark. Sophia loves the rain. She and Bob went out exploring in the rain last night. She put on her raincoat and boots and took her umbrella with her. We have a dry pond behind our house that fills up with water when it rains. This is an endless source of fascination for her.

When it rains like this I really don't feel like getting out of bed. It just seems like it is not time, because the sun does not seem to shine.

I really have to start getting ready for vacation. I have some cleaning to do and lots of laundry to do. YUCK, I hate the laundry. Since I live in a townhouse, it means going up and down lots of steps. Usually, Bob will help me with this which is a great relief. With my growing tummy, it is sometimes hard to maneuver the steps with load of laundry in my hands.

Sunday was Sophia's tea party. I will post more about that when I get some pictures resized and ready to post. I think she had fun. It was a bit chaotic and I was very tired that evening and yesterday, but I think it was worth it.

For those of you who are ready this in Maryland stay dry. If you are lucky enough to be someplace dry and sunny then I am glad for you.

Have a great day!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

In & out, help...

For years I have struggled with the relationships (or lack there of) that I have with my parents. Most of the time I feel better when I have no contact. I have very few memories of my father as a child, as I mentioned before, my parents divorced before I was two. It seems he has been coming and going out of my life as long as I can remember.

I have one very early memory of my parents giving me a present (a tricycle) and it was before they were divorced. I don't remember my father leaving my mother and me, but that is probably for the best. The next memory I have of him was when I was around four or so. This was when my mother, her new husband and I went to meet my father and his new wife so that he could sign the adoption papers for my stepfather to adopt me. I remember sitting on his lap while he signed his parental rights away. My next memory was from when I was about eight or nine years old when we met him at a mutual friends house for dinner. He was out of my life again for about nine or ten more years until he showed up at my high school graduation. It was a complete surprise, but according to the adoption papers, he was not legally able to see me until after I turned eighteen. So this was where he came back into my life somewhat regularly.

We tried to make things work, but I am not sure that my dad really thinks of me as his daughter. He has a daughter that is eleven years younger than me. Three Christmases ago, Sophia's first Christmas, he called and wanted to come for a visit. I was fine with that, but was disappointed when he never showed up and did not even call to say he was not coming. I was broken hearted and cried for a few days over this. I did not see him at all that next year and at Christmas time I get a call from him again saying he wanted to come out. The day they were supposed to arrive, something told me that I should call and when I did, my stepmother told me that they were not coming and that my sister was supposed to call and tell me. Well years of pent up aggression came out and I let her have it. I told her that I did not want them calling me again, because I did not deserve to be treated this way. I tried to remain calm, but told her exactly how I felt fighting back tears. It hurt so bad to say the things, not because they came out a bit mean spirited, but because deep down inside I knew that they were true.

I have not heard from them since then, until yesterday. I got an email from my sister. It was in regards to a family reunion to take place in about three weeks. My stepmother wanted my sister to forward the message to me, because she and my father wanted us to attend. I began to wonder what I should do. I got this huge lump in my throat and I forwarded the message to Bob in somewhat of a distress call manner. Bob is usually left to pick up the pieces when something major goes down with my family, so he knows how much these sort of things tear me up.

Then all of these thoughts start to float around in my head. Does my father want to treat me better or is this more of the same bullshit from the past? It hurts that he has never met Sophia and she will be three in September. It hurts that he never calls, even when we are on speaking terms. Did the recent passing of Father's Day make him think about me? I know that no matter what we decide to do, I can not expect anything to change. This also hurts, because inside of me there is this little girl who only wants the love of a father. I don't want much, I just want the occasional phone call letting me know that I am loved, that he is not sorry that I was born.

I know I will be depressed about this for a few days and then feel better. Bob will talk through the situation with me and I will get over it. I just wish that my father either wanted to be in my life for real or just let me go, because this in and out of my life stuff is just more than I can handle at times.

Thanks for listening, I will keep you posted about what I plan to do.

Have a good day!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Pregnancy woes...

So I am now 15 weeks pregnant. This is good for a couple of reasons, one the chance of miscarriage is greatly reduced after week 12 and two I am finally not feeling so nauseous now.

That being said though, there are other problems. Just about every pregnant woman feels the things I am going to describe, but that does not make it any easier for me to handle.

1. I am having a hard time sleeping. No matter what I do, where I place my pillows, what time I go to sleep, or if I pee before I go to bed I just don't sleep well. I get up at least twice a night to pee and then if it is after 4:00am, I have a hard time falling back to sleep. This sucks, because I am a person who really loves my sleep.

2. My nausea has been replaced by heartburn. I take Pepcid AC as much as I can, but that does not always help. Right now I am craving things that contain tomatoes and things that are sour and this seems to cause heartburn. So I eat the stuff that I love and it makes me sick.

3. I have never professed to be a mental giant, however I seem to forget everything. One day about two weeks ago, we could not find the cord-less phone. I could hear it ringing, but could not find it. So we paged the phone and finally found the phone in the freezer. Yeah that's right, the freezer. The sad thing is that I actually caught myself trying to put it back in the freezer a few days later. On Sunday, we were going to spend the day at Bob's parents' house and I was going to make dinner for Father's Day, I actually forgot some stuff that was very important to the meal. I feel like I am walking around in a cloud most of the time, and I hate this!

4. I am having some other various body ailments that are too embarrassing to discuss, so I will just say that there are other physical problems that are equally as awful as the other things that I have listed.

All that being said, I should be able to start feeling the baby move in the next few weeks. That is something that makes everything (besides all of the side effects) seem real. We have started to think about names, but so far, we are not settled on anything. Before Sophia was born, we had a hard time coming up with a boys name and it seems to be the same this time. I don't know why. For girls names, we like Katherine or Claire, but that might change.

One this is for sure, this pregnancy has been so much different than when I was pregnant with Sophia. Other than being in labor for two days, I was never sick. They say that each pregnancy is different. Some people are saying that this baby might be a boy.

Just for fun, why don't you guys send me some of your favorite baby names, I am just curious about what people like. Just humor me!!!

By the way, I saw the movie Cars today. Sophia was horrible during the movie. I have to say that I really liked it. Pixar does a really good job with little touches that just makes things amazing. The story was cute, but I would say that it is not for really little kids, because it runs 116 minutes, which is just way too long for toddlers.

Have a great evening!

Friday, June 16, 2006

He's home...

So we went to pick up Bob from the airport last night. He was in Milwaukee, WI for a few days. His flight was about twenty minutes late. Two year olds never understand why they have to wait. Thankfully, Bob's parents were with me and helped me chase Sophia around. She loves the airport. She has been there so many times, between Bob traveling for work and his parents going on vacation, she has probably been there about a dozen times. She was mad when we dropped Bob off, because we did not go in, so I promised that we could go in when Bob got back.

There is one bonus to Bob being away and that is that I get the entire bed to myself. When Bob is gone, I have no breaks from Sophia and I have to take the dog out. Vinny (the dog) decided that he would go on a bit of a "Poop Strike" and would not go as much as he normally does. Then I have to worry that he might go in the house. Normally, he is very good this way, but I thought he might be confused about Bob not being here and slip up. Thankfully, he was good. Bob took him out when we got back from the airport and all systems were normal. He is normally my dog, but I could tell that he really missed Bob.

I have been wanting to swim all week, but the weather just won't cooperate. Yesterday was a beautiful day, but it was so windy. Sophia is so tiny that she gets cold very quick in a breeze. At least the sun was out which will help to warm up the water. It was only 70 earlier this week. It is supposed to be gorgeous out this weekend, so hopefully, we will get some swimming in.

Since Sunday is Father's Day, I will make dinner for Bob and his father. They love Mexican, so that makes my choices easy. I do have to get my thoughts in order, so I know what to make and most importantly, what to get at the grocery store. I really hate the grocery store. I especially hate taking the groceries into the house. Normally, I take the perishables in and make Bob do the rest, because it is just so hard to do with Sophia. I keep thinking that it will only get worse with the new baby.

Sophia is finally letting me potty train her. She has been doing really well. I hope that when we go away in two weeks she does not slip back into bad habits. Oh well, she is just a kid and I have to be patient.

I hope that you are all well!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Just say no...

I went to Fudruckers with some other moms yesterday for lunch. As usual, it was a zoo. Kids everywhere, wanting everything. I like all of the kids that Sophia plays with, but some are definitely spoiled. They get whatever they want and will continue to ask for what they want, until they get it. It really gets on my nerves.

We try really hard not to let Sophia get this way. While I admit she can be very spoiled at times, we do try to keep her under wraps. There are many times that I simply tell her "no" because I want her to hear the word. We make at least one trip to Walmart a week and each time she asks to ride the little rides in the front of the store. If I have change she gets to ride, if not, she doesn't. Other moms would cave into the pleadings and go and get change, but not me.

I find that kids today really do have too much. I look at the older kids who are driving and can not believe the cars that they have. They might be working for them, but are they saving any money for other things or are their parents footing the bill for everything else. Don't get me wrong, parents should pay for some things, but kids need to learn that money does not grow on trees. What we create by letting our kids live on the notion that they can have everything now is a society that is reliant on credit. When Sophia is old enough to drive, we will buy her a safe car and we will get her help with insurance and gas. Plus, she will be made to put some money into savings.

My parents paid for car and insurance, but I drove an old piece of junk that would not be safe by today standards. When I was a senior, I lived apart from my parents and I paid for my gas, clothing, and food. They paid my rent and for my car.

I am not a scrooge and I believe that kids need to have fun and should not be worried about bills and things like that, but there needs to be respect for where money comes from. Telling kids "no" will not hurt them and in fact may make them a stronger person.

Have a great day. It looks like it is going to be beautiful outside today!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Nothing too important...

Sophia's stitches are healing nicely and she has surprisingly left them alone. We go on Thursday morning to get them out. It might be a bit uncomfortable, but maybe we can go for a treat or something afterwards to make her feel better.

I went to my OB appointment today. So far everything seems to be going well. My blood work came back perfect and I only gained about a pound or so. I talked to the doctor about feeling sick and tired all of the time. He said the nausea should be ending soon and that I am feeling extra tired this pregnancy, because I am three years older than my last pregnancy and that I am chasing a toddler every day. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time today. We recorded it and let Sophia listen to it. She was all smiles and described what she heard. I think she is going to be a great big sister.

I just hope that I will be up to the task when the new baby gets here. Hopefully, Bob will be able to take of a few weeks and maybe his mom another week. That would be a huge help.

We (Bob's mother and I) are having a tea party for Sophia and her friends at the end of the month. We wanted to do a few special things for her this year before the new baby gets here. I can't wait. I would have loved this sort of thing when I was a little girl. I hope to have a bunch of pictures to share.

I am counting down the days until vacation. We will be at the ocean from June 30 to July 14. I plan on resting as much as I can, since I will have help with Sophia. I have to find some good books to read between now and then. I have not read a book in a while, so this will be a big treat.

We are going to take Sophia to see the movie, Cars, some time next week. She giggles every time she sees something about the movie. It will be a challenge, because she was horrible during the last movie that I took her to. Thankfully, I go during the middle of a weekday, when there is nobody else there, but moms with toddlers. This time I am taking another adult to help me keep her sequestered in her seat.

Nothing else new except that Bob is going out of town for a few nights next week on business. I hate when he goes, not only because I will miss him, but more importantly, because I have to take out the dog. I am so paranoid that he will get out of his leash (which he has done twice before) and I will have to look like an idiot chasing him around the neighborhood. It is also hard, because I will have no break from Sophia and believe me there are days when I need it.

I hope all is well!!!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Oh what a night...

Last night I had a meeting to attend and when I came out around 8:50 my phone rang and it was Bob. He told me that he had Sophia at the playground and she fell (going up a sliding board) and split her chin open. He called the pediatrician and they said to take her to the emergency room. I told him I would meet him there and left to do so.

I was at my meeting with Bob's mom, so she followed me to the hospital and I called Bob's dad on the way and he was going to meet us there, also. So there were four cars for one child's trip to the emergency room. We always joke that Sophia travels with a posse.

It was about 9:30 until we got to the hospital, which about Sophia's normal bedtime. She was already tired, but we were not prepared to not see a doctor until about midnight. There were so many kids there that seemed to be in the same predicament as Sophia. The little boy next to us had the same injury, but you would have thought that he was being killed he screamed so much. Poor little guy!

The nurse had told us that they might be able to glue the injury, but when the doctor got in, he said the cut was too deep and would need a few stitches. So they wrapped Sophia up like a mummy in a blanket and laid her on this thing called a Papoose Board which immobilized her. They laid a cloth over her head that had a hole over the injury and started working. They started injecting the numbing medicine and she was fine for about the first two and then started to cry and then I started to cry for her, so I had to turn away. Thankfully, it went rather quickly and even though she was upset she listened to what they told her and it was over in a matter of 10-15 minutes. She ended up with three stitches.

I was so proud of her, she was such a trooper. They gave her a bunch of stickers, a coloring book and a new blanket. It definitely could have been much worse!! I am so tired today since we did not get in until about 1:15. It is now 10:15 and I think Sophia is just waking up. She needed to sleep.

Anyway, have a terrific day!